I Won’t Do It!

Remember I told you that, when I was in a drunken stupor one night, somebody talked me into entering the Blogwhore 2 contest? (See Solonor’s Ink Well: Lord, What Have I Done?)

Well, today, I got an e-mail from the ringmaster of this fiasco, a Canadian (yes, I said Canadian) named Shel, letting all of the so-called prospects know that the judges would be looking over each applicant’s blog in search of the most worthy to be the final contestants. Apparently, if you kiss their hindquarters lovingly enough, these people will see fit to announce that you are blogwhore material. Like I want that on my permanent record?

Supposedly, I am to tell you what a spectacularly wonderful photographer Rannie is. How his black-and-white photos are stunning. How this big Canadian media company made him a Tech Site of the Day. How many times you all have said to him, “Did anyone ever tell you how photogenic you are? You should be in pictures.” And how it’s definitely the Gap’s loss that he’s not a manager there.

I won’t do it!

And, then, if it weren’t for this stupid contest, I would have told you about Jill. Did you know she’s Jewish?! I was stunned, too. I mean, I knew Jewish women were the sexiest (duh), but… um, excuse me… Where was I? Oh, yeah, well, having me tell you how delectable she is just to get into a stupid contest is downright criminal.

I won’t do it!

Philo is the third judge in this Four Horsepersons of the Blogocalypse.™ If I were to shamelessly applaud him for his fight against demon tobacco, it might score me a few brownie points. But what would it serve? He is already adored by millions.

I won’t do it!

Finally, there is Christine, my Spork Queen. If I were really serious about this, I’d offer to buy her this treasure from her wish list (then immediately kill myself). But who in their right mind would stoop so low? Not me!

I won’t do it!

So, take your little Blogwhore game back to the frigid wasteland of Canada where it belongs. These most wonderful, excellent, tasteful, sexy, brilliant, witty, kind, selfless people don’t need any of my ego strokes. If that’s the kind of thing I have to do to get in, I won’t do it!

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4 Responses to I Won’t Do It!

  1. kat says:

    man, that was the most ass kissinist post i have ever read. can i get you a tissue for your nose? there’s something brown on it. 😉

  2. wKen says:

    The game should really be called “Who’s the biggest butt-kissing blogger?”, and you’re off to a good start. You have my vote.

  3. rannie says:

    well you certainly did your reasearch.. even though you aren’t whoring me 😉

  4. jadedju says:

    I’m not Jewish, I’m Juish.

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