All you lefties out there, take heed. If you want to get the goods on President Bush, look no further than CBN: The Christian Broadcasting Network. Pat Robertson’s crew has done an excellent job of proving that Bush is behind all the weather catastrophes we’ve been having lately.
That’s right. Just mention the “Roadmap to Peace” and a twister will be knocking on your door within hours. If I quoted all the good bits, I’d wind up re-printing the whole darn thing, so here’s a sample:
May 9th, 2003, President Bush addressed students at the University of South Carolina. Bush called on the Palestinians to embrace the road to peace, and see the flag of Palestine raised over a free nation.
Hours later, tornadoes returned and Oklahoma City again became the bulls-eye for deadly twisters, reducing what was left of businesses and homes to splinters and bricks. The tornadoes of May devastated the Midwest with the third worst property damage in American history.
And you can blame him for all the rain, too!
On the East Coast there have been less than 10 rainless weekends the entire year. And in the West, certain crop-eating pests are having their best year in six decades amid dry conditions.
Okaaa-aaay. Now I’m confused. They actually think that… no wait, no one could be that deluded. Wait, yes, apparently they are. Yikes!
POW!
Well, at least I know who to direct my anger at now. Last week I was bitching about the constant rain. Today I’m bitching about the unrelenting heat.
Damn you, Bush, damn you!
I think we should call him WeatherMeiser.
No, no, no. They have it all wrong. It’s the Old Gods punishing us because the President hasn’t sacrificed 40 virgins! I mean, duh.
Evangelical fundamentalist = self-deluding self-centered damn fool; sometimes takes violent action to further false goals (viz. Eric Rudolph, Osama bin Laden, et. al.).
Oh man, can we hit Pat Robertson with a clue-by-four or sell hime to the gypsies or something…PLEAAAASE?