It’s not a party until the fire trucks arrive…

Tonight we had our annual Christmas party at church. As opposed to Saturday night’s debauch-fest, this one is for the kids.

Usually, we sing carols. The handbell choir plays. We force the older kids to do a lame skit. Sing some more carols. Santa passes out presents. Then we eat some cookies and go home.

Ah, but this year they made the mistake of putting crazy people in charge. So, instead of a boring old skit, we decided to let the kids go wild (with yours truly egging them on, naturally).

We spent a couple of weeks bouncing ideas off each other for a version of “The Night Before Christmas” in which the various scenes were presented in the most twisted way possible.

For example, when “the stockings were hung by the chimney with care,” three of us duct-taped various socks (including one foul-smelling gym sock) to the mantel. And you have three guesses as to who came out in a feather boa, tiara, and wand when “visions of sugar plum (fairies) danced in their heads…”

La pièce de résistance came when “he was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot” and one of our kids came out in a bear costume and we started to stick roses to his cheeks, put a cherry on his nose, stick a bow in his mouth, hang a wreath on his head, etc., as a literal (and warped) interpretation of Santa Claus.

Okay, so, I guess you had to be there…

I figured the little kids would find it hilarious, but it was a smash with the older folks, too.

Later, three of us did a 2-guitar and cello trio that was wicked cool. Our little kids sang a couple of songs, including one with a sweet solo. And, of course, we sang carols and had Santa pass out presents and ate enough cookies to put ourselves in sugar comas. I think Venita even got a picture of the pastor with a wreath around his neck.

Finally, as everyone was wrapping it up, someone got too close to the fire alarm with a little kid on their shoulder, and all hell broke loose. We got out of there just in time to see the fire trucks coming the opposite way.

Admit it. You wish you went to my church.

Best. Partay. Evar.

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9 Responses to It’s not a party until the fire trucks arrive…

  1. Vicki says:

    Dang! We never had cool parties like that at our church **pouts*
    **stops pouting and gets some ideas**
    **rushes off to implement said ideas**

    Glad you had a good time!

  2. Ric The Schmuck says:

    Fire trucks… I remember when you used to get the cops called on you. (humming “Police on my Back”)

    Sounds like a great time. Sounds like a church that’s interested in making church fun for the kids, so they might want to keep going… Very cool.

  3. Scott says:

    Sounds like a fine party!

  4. bran says:

    I do. I admit it. I wish I went to your church.

    This may well revoke my membership in the heathen club.

  5. Linkmeister says:

    Smelly gym socks are all very well, but no fishnets?

  6. Solonor says:

    Mine was a long, pink, toe sock with something like “I love your toez” or something on it.

  7. geeky says:

    You really know how to party, old man! I should start hanging out at your church on weekends.

  8. cynical ju says:

    Why don’t they have fun parties like that at temple? I swear, this Ju thing really sucks sometimes.

  9. cassie-b says:

    Sounds really good – up to the end.

    Have a wonderful holiday season.


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