Lame Joke Friday

It’s Friday, and you know what that means… well? Don’t you?

Fine! You don’t wanna tell me what it means, then we’ll just sit around telling bad jokes all day. That’ll learn ya!

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you but don’t start anything.”

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

I went to the butcher’s the other day and bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replied, “I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!”

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

[ via JustAGirl ]

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10 Responses to Lame Joke Friday

  1. kat says:

    *slaps knee* Those are real belly

  2. Sherri says:

    You, sir, are guilty of verbicide. The evidence is abundant. Now…what to DO about you?

    (that’s a real word, verbicide. Merriam-Webster Colligiate Dictionary, tenth edition, page 1307 — or check it online. Betcha didn’t know you had a whole WORD dedicated to your nefarious activities.)

  3. yay for terrible joke-telling! 😀

  4. Speaker says:

    THIS is why i missed my solonor!

  5. Ric The Schmuck says:

    I betcha got a million of’em, huh?

    Ya gonna be here all night?

    Should I remember to tip my waitress or bartender?

  6. Lambchop says:

    And you don’t have my favorite? Two Peanuts were walking down a dark, dark, alley. One was a salted.


  7. FryGuy says:

    Pure nerdy joke bliss. Lame nothing, those ruled.

  8. Roo’s favorite jokes:

    Q: what’s brown and sticky?
    A: a stick!

    Q: what’s uglier than a raisin?
    A: two raisins!

    my fave:
    Q: what illness did everybody on the USS Enterprise get?
    A: chicken Spocks!

    har har har.

  9. Karan says:

    HAHAAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA There’s really not much that is better than a stupid pun.

  10. JustAGirl says:

    Wow…I’m glad you enjoyed them. 😀

Comments are closed.