“Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears”
“Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and the Seventh Dwarf She Let Get Away as a Warning to Others”
“Old Mother Hubbard, Lacking the Means to Support Herself With Honor, Sets Her Disruptor on Self-Destruct and Waits for the Inevitable”
But we can do better, can’t we?
Here are some to get you started…
“Cinderella impresses the Prince by defeating her wicked stepsisters in personal combat with the bat’leth and enslaving her stepmother.”
“Pinocchio the Android becomes a real boy after the implantation of his emotion chip.”
“The Little Mermaid leads her people into glorious battle against the land-dwellers.”