Gosh, I love McSweeney! And now, via ***Dave, comes Klingon Fairy Tales. You know, like:
“Goldilocks Dies With Honor at the Hands of the Three Bears”
“Snow White and the Six Dwarves She Killed With Her Bare Hands and the Seventh Dwarf She Let Get Away as a Warning to Others”
“Old Mother Hubbard, Lacking the Means to Support Herself With Honor, Sets Her Disruptor on Self-Destruct and Waits for the Inevitable”
Brilliant.
But we can do better, can’t we?
Here are some to get you started…
“Cinderella impresses the Prince by defeating her wicked stepsisters in personal combat with the bat’leth and enslaving her stepmother.”
“Pinocchio the Android becomes a real boy after the implantation of his emotion chip.”
“The Little Mermaid leads her people into glorious battle against the land-dwellers.”
Miss Muffet wards off dangerous, but rare, spider by wielding her tuffet. The spider was later released into its natural habitat unharmed
Sleeping Beauty, upon being abruptly awakened from the first really restful sleep she’d had in years, finally releases the Prince from the grip of her two hands and lets his body fall to the floor, thus ensuring that no other sleeping Princess will have to deal with an untimely and premature awakening.