Birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. Oh yeah.
- Sitting next to a quartet of giggly
girlsyoung women, listening to their tales of love-life woe, when one of them says, “Like, it’s so inexplicable I can’t even explain it.”
- Finding out that the same girls are celebrating a birthday and having the waitstaff sing an annoying happy birthday song.
- Having the wife threaten me with a knife for suggesting that I tell said waitstaff that it’s her birthday, too.
- Getting the worst coffee ever made since some guy in Peru drank a cup of water from a pot into which someone accidentally dropped a handful of strange beans and spent the next two days running around with his loincloth on his head yelling (in Inca, of course), “I am the Great Cornholio! I need teepee for my bunghole!”
- Making a joke about screaming in terror if the waiter asks, “Do you want more coffee?”
- Cleaning the spewed coffee off the my glasses when said waiter indeed asks that very thing.
And, of course, cheeeeeeeeeesecake….