Moo! Fear Me!

And speaking of werecows (“Werecow? There cow!”)*, Whiny has a penchant for digging up the strangest role-playing games. First it was Kobolds Ate My Baby…

The “ALL HAIL” Rule

If anyone utters the name of King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG!), all Kobolds must shout, “All Hail King Torg!” Failure to express the proper respect for King Torg (ALL HAIL KING TORG!) results in a Kobold Horrible Death Check™.

Then it was the inspired cross-breeding of Cthulu and Pokemon–Pokethulu, from the insane world of Dork Tower (“Don’t sweat the small stuff. Gnomes, for example.”)…

Moooving right along, he picked up Battle Cattle, an udderly silly game that pits hi-tech bovine killing machines against each other on the “field” of battle…

And just in time for Halloween, his newest endeavor is All Flesh Must Be Eaten, an rpg that asks, “How do you stop something that’s already been killed?” We all know the answer to that… But which would you rather be: The Cheerleader? (“Those stupid zombies totally RUINED the prom!”) The Goth Chick? (“God this sucks . . . there’s like a billion zombies and not like one vampire.”) The Video Store Clerk? (“I had to choose, save my girlfriend or my Dr. Who collection. I know Jenny would have understood.”)

I’ve got my characters all rolled up!