Mother’s Day and Literalism

Happy Mother’s Day!

We decided to lay our woefully unworthy gifts at the feet of the one, true goddess early. So, yesterday, we did the things she wanted to do.

Pepperkat and I took her to afternoon tea, followed by a long drive in the country. After that, we spent some gift certificates I got during Employee Appreciation Week on a third viewing of X2. Whiny (who spent the day in a photobooth at the mall from all accounts) returned home bearing a Nat “King” Cole CD for her. Today, I’m off to buy her a staple gun that also does brads. What more could a woman want?

During the drive, our daughter demonstrated that she has, indeed, inherited her mother’s literalism disease. We passed a sign on the side of one of those tiny advertising log cabins (you do have those where you live, right?) that said: “Complete Wedding Services.” To which our backseat passenger – completely straightfaced – asked, “How do you have an incomplete wedding?”

This, of course, was followed by: “How can you do a non-stop flight from Sanford to Cincinnati?”

Which all reminded mother of her favorite literalist joke:

Once, an extremely literal man needed to use the bathroom in his office building. But when he got there, a sign said, “Bathroom out of order. Please use floor below.”

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7 Responses to Mother’s Day and Literalism

  1. -e- says:

    *SNORT* that last joke reminded me of that old one-liner: “I saw a sign that said ‘WET PAINT’, so I did.”

    A most happy mothers day to your household, Mr. Solonor.

  2. natalie says:

    A staple gun that does brads? Does such a beast exist? That has me salivating.

    A Happy Mother’s Day to all, and to all a good night.

  3. Solonor says:

    Yep! They had air guns, electric-powered guns and manual ones. I got her an electric one. She only wanted the cheapo manual one, but I’m a big spender. $29.95 baby!

  4. natalie says:

    The thought that your wife has a need for an electric brad/staple gun both frightens and intrigues me.

    Buying the $30 model is sweet – I don’t mean, “Look at the puppies!” sweet, I mean like a Cartman “..sweeeeet”.

  5. Solonor says:

    She claims to want to reupholster the couch. But now I’m nervous…

    Gee, thanks. I like being ignorant and happy better! ;p


    I stepped into the ocean for the first time in my life on Saturday. I had been on the ocean

  7. Sunidesus says:

    I think I have that literalism problem too! When our weather guy was talking about “barbaric” cold fronts a few months back, I started imagining cold front pillaging, raping, and murdering across the country. What can I saw? I’m weird!

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