Napster, What Hast Thou Wrought? – Does File Trading Fund Terrorism?

Is it a stretch to say that massive profits are being made from the multi-billion dollar peer-to-peer filesharing industry? Of course not. As Lamar Smith (R-Texas) says, “…selling illegally copied materials can be more lucrative than selling illegal drugs…” It’s the drug trade of the 21st century.

Well, if that’s true, then that means organized crime. Right? John G. Malcolm, deputy assistant attorney general in the criminal division of the U.S. Department of Justice, said it does, because “many of the groups profiting from illegal copies are highly organized and can have international distribution networks.” It doesn’t matter that the whole point of the warez and p2p movements are to avoid paying for stuff. Their hierarchy looks like organized crime to him. If it weighs the same as a duck…

John Carter (R-Texas… and of Mars) has a great idea to deal with those robber barons:

“I think it’d be a good idea to go out and actually bust a couple of these college kids,” Carter said. “If you want to see college kids duck and run, you let them read the papers and somebody’s got a 33-month sentence in the federal penitentiary for downloading copyrighted materials.”

It’s enough for our esteemed Robert Wexler (D-Florida) to haul out the big guns: PSA’s. Wexler suggested public service commercials, highlighting the connection between piracy and organized crime.

“Just say no to file sharing, kids! It funds terrorism.”


Well, of course, dummy. Organized crime often supports terrorism. So, naturally, it follows:

  1. File sharing leads to piracy.
  2. Profits from piracy are huge.
  3. Like the drug trade.
  4. Which is run by Organized Crime.
  5. Organized Crime funds terrorism.

Simple, straightforward logic is what keeps our Congress on the right track, spending their time hunting down teenagers for finding ways around feeding the MPAA money vaccuum, while avoiding pesky issues like health care and poverty. Take that, Osama!

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6 Responses to Napster, What Hast Thou Wrought?

  1. Scott says:

    Gee, so I support Osama when I download songs by Me First and the Gimme Gimmes? Horrors!

  2. gnome-girl says:

    aw damn and i asked for people to send me irish music who knew 🙂

  3. GeekMan says:

    And that’s another reason I think my ‘satirical’ post last year isn’t quite so far fetched anymore.

  4. Solonor says:

    Brilliant! It is not for nothing that you own the title The Mighty Geek, sir.

  5. theresa says:

    So if file sharing supports terrorism, and I use file sharing applications, that makes me a terrorist, right?

  6. Scott says:

    Yup, that’s right, theresa. Look out for Ashcroft’s black choppers, as they’re comin’ for ya!

Comments are closed.