Parrot Joke War!

Annessa counters with her own parrot joke, and so I must retaliate.

This guy is in a plane when he feels thirsty. He calls the stewardess and asks her politely for a Large Whiskey. There’s a parrot in the seat next to him who snaps, “A double Scotch and make it quick!”

“Yes, sir,” the stewardess says and quickly gets the bird his drink – but ignores the guy. The parrot downs his in one gulp and says, “Gimme another!” The stewardess gets him a second drink, ignoring the guy again.

The guy, meanwhile, has been asking for his drink very politely. He decides to use the parrot’s tactics and snarls at the stewardess, “You @#*$# hag, get me my bloody Scotch!” Suddenly, a large co-pilot comes out of the cockpit and ejects both the guy and the parrot off the plane.

As they’re falling, the parrot turns to the guy and says, “You know, you’re quite brave for someone who can’t fly…”

[ Step right up and get yer bad bird jokes at Plannedparrothood (I know. That URL even made ME groan.) ]

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10 Responses to Parrot Joke War!

  1. Scott says:

    Heh. I used to know a ton of parrot jokes. Now? Having a sieve for a brain hasn’t helped.

  2. Billegible says:

    Parrot joke wars are go

    Hey, it’s Monday, a parrot-joke war is about all I’m up to. First retaliatory salvo: A farmer buys a mated

  3. Bill says:

    I see your parrot joke and raise you one.

  4. Parrot War!

    [Since Solonor is calling to Arms…] A burglar sneaks in a dark bar…(after hours) and goes right to the cash

  5. Annessa says:

    That’s pretty funny. Does this mean I, a lowly lady of evil, dare to do battle with THE Minion?

    Bring.It.On. (although I do have to work this afternoon, so really I must beg off after 2, and then there’s chitlin – ok,ok, you win. Sheesh, you’d think I’d be better at being Evil)

  6. Batten Down the Hatches!

    Arr, mateys! Another salvo has been fired in the Parrot Joke War! We must retaliate. One Christmas Eve, a frenzied

  7. GeekGrrl says:

    Parrot Jokes always remind me of that scene in Monty Python…

    He’s not pinin’! He’s passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! He’s expired and gone to meet his maker! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed him to the perch he’d be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He’s off the twig! He’s kicked the bucket, he’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

  8. Solonor says:

    Who da geek? YOU da geek! Hit me, spork sistah!

  9. Parrot Joke War!

    How in the hell did this joke elude Solonor and his evil hench-people (even Planned Parrothood)?
    It’s a fourth-grade classic….

  10. Jessica says:

    OK, I wracked my brain for days trying to remember this one. It’s not very funny, really, but I finally found it:

    A guy is having a Halloween party. There is a theme theme: come as an emotion. One lady shows up wearing a cardboard smilley face; she is happy. A guy comes as a grapefruit; he is bitter. A group arrived dressed in blue, for they were sad. And so it went, nothing very intruiging, until around midnight the doorbell rings and the host answers it to find a man standing there naked but for a parrot perched on the tip of his tumescent member.

    “What the hell are you doing?” the host asks.
    “Me?” says the guest, “I’m fuckin’ despair.”

    ‘Cause he’s fuckin’… this parrot… see…

    OK, I’m going to bed now.

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