That’s What Friends Are For

Yes, even though there was a 40-hour gap between the last two posts, I still have to make a post every calendar day. It’s a disease.

I got an e-mail this morning from one of the wisest people I know. It went something (but not exactly) like this:

Why don’t you get off your lazy, self-righteous ass and make us laugh already? That’s what you’re there for, ya know. You’re funny.

But, I’m funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Anyway, yeah, I’m back. I’m your blogging alternative to mind-numbing war coverage on TV:

Nick: It looks like the battle plan is to put our forces actually inside Iraq. Is that correct? Let’s check with our network’s military analyst, Dick Johnson. Dick?
Dick: Thank you, Nick. Yes, that would be a fair assessment of the battle plan unfolding. You see, by placing troops in close proximity of enemy forces, our military hopes to engage them in something we in the strategy biz call “war”.
Nick: But isn’t that a little dangerous?
Dick: Yes, Nick, it is. That’s why at least some of our troops will be carrying guns. At least that’s my best guess…
Nick: Let’s check in with Nora, who’s in bed with the troops… I’m sorry… embedded with the troops. Nora?
Nora: Yes, Nick, I’m here with the 4077th M*A*S*H unit at an undisclosed location.
Nick: Nora, I see that you’re very close to danger. If at any time you feel the need to leave the area, please, so so.
Nora: Thank you, Nick. It is a bit frightening being so close to Jamie Farr…
Nick: What our viewers want to know, Nora, is have you seen Saddam Hussein?
Nora: As a matter of fact, Nick, I’ve just been debriefed by several senior staff here, and no one knows anything about the condition or whereabouts of Saddam Hussein… at least, they are not sharing that information with me. I have, however, seen Alan Alda pass out on numerous occassions.
Nick: Thank you, Nora, for that gripping report from the front. Stay tuned for more round-the-clock coverage of Iraq Attack II: The Brawl for Baghdad…

So, I’ll just be over here in my little corner of the blogosphere, juggling llamas for your amusement. If you don’t like it, change the channel.

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7 Responses to That’s What Friends Are For

  1. Maria says:

    LOL Funny like a clown… uh huh… {{{hugs}}} ;o)

  2. Scott says:

    You’re funny? [ducking] I’ve had spurts of blogging and then none at all; tired of the crowing of certain types of people.

  3. Les says:

    You were gone? What the hell have I been reading then?

  4. theresa says:

    What channel are you on? I’d much rather watch you than CNN 😀

  5. Ric The Schmuck says:

    Welcome back, you! 🙂
    It is a better world when I can get my daily dose of Solonor-snarkiness. That, or when they play the Beatles on the radio. Or both. Trust me, I can handle both. I’m trained at handling that sort of thing….

  6. jadedju says:

    I thank you, the blogosphere thanks you, indeed, even the terrorists thank you. Humor has returned.

    And it was good.

  7. dragonleg says:

    Indeed, humor has returned!
    p.s. I thought you were in jail. Sorry.

Comments are closed.