A Barrel Full of Monkeys

There’s been a proliferation of monkeys in both blogspace and meatspace, recently. For example, Whiny the Elder thinks it is the funniest word in the English language…inserting it into conversation at the most inappropriate moments.

Me: Have you done your homework, son?
Whiny: Monkey?
Me: Erm…that’s not what I asked. Do you have any homework?
Whiny: Mmmmmonkey?
Me: Is it o.k., if I slap you upside the head?
Whiny: Monkey! Monkey! Monkey!

On his blog, he has a semi-lucid story that features something called a dung monkey and another rant with rabid monkeys.

You get the idea (assuming the idea is that my son belongs in a zoo). But I digress…

Everything’s coming up monkey, it seems.

Dick has gone ape over monkeys here and here and here and here and here and here!

One of my BlogParents is Kamel’s Floating Monkeys.

Megan, of The Screen Savers, has a blog called (what else?) Jumping Monkeys.

One of the political/humor meme’s that’s going around is to post pictures from Bush or Chimp.

We constantly reference that stupid little snippet in one Simpsons episode where there was a monkey knife fight on Mr. Burns’ boat. In researching the episode, I found that someone has devoted an entire site to Monkeys on the Simpsons, and it’s not the only one!

Even my wife noticed that “every conversation we have around here winds up including monkeys at some point!”

So, the following should not surprise anyone….or anyone familiar with twisted logic at least…

We were eating dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant last night, when Pepperkat noticed that they always play Disney Muzak–Hushabye Mountain from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (one of my favorite kids movies…I love Dick Van Dyke), Feed the Birds (Tuppence a Bag) from Mary Poppins, Candle on the Water from Pete’s Dragon, etc. Suddenly, we noticed that the song being played was Over the Rainbow from The Wizard of Oz.

“That’s not Disney,” Pepperkat noted.

“No, but it has monkeys in it! Flying monkeys!”

Which, of course, lead us to a deep discussion of the greatest movies with monkeys in them. All of this being a really long introduction to:

The Greatest Monkey Movies Ever (in no particular order)

1. Planet of the Apes – Damn, dirty apes!
2. Any Which Way But Loose – Clint Eastwood and an orangutan. Genius!
3. Head – Monkees are people too.
4. Twelve Monkeys – A great movie…though a bit light on actual monkeys really.
5. Tarzan movies – Lots of ’em. Many with monkeys (he was raised by apes, after all). The best are with Johnny Weissmuller. Go to Tarzan Movie Guide.com for more info than you’ll ever want.
6. Bedtime for Bonzo – It’s so presidential.
7. Going Ape! – Good, God, man! It’s got Tony Danza! It can’t lose.
8. Project X – Matthew Broderick and a monkey. I weep with joy.
9. Jungle Book – King Louie rocks!
10. King Kong – The Mike Tyson of monkeydom…misunderstood and dangerous.

Monkeys make good stories. Don’t just take my word for it. Take this guy’s or this guy’s or this one’s or this one’s.

Finally, I leave you with something only tangentially related to monkeys. But with Ken Burns’ Civil War being replayed, and with our hero’s name being Simian, I felt it appropriate to drag out of mothballs. This is an entry from a casette tape three high school kids made one bored afternoon. It has two of the greatest lines I’ve ever heard: “…looking for some bacon fat and other delectable goodies” and “I was somewhat scared by that remark, but then I took drugs and all was well.”

I’m headed for the medicine cabinet even as we speak.


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21 Responses to A Barrel Full of Monkeys

  1. domino says:

    Maybe…maybe there’s more to life than bacon fat.

  2. Solonor says:

    If that were true, why would God have created the bacon?

  3. michele says:

    What a great post. Monkeys! I love Monkeys! I love Space Monkeys!

  4. adam says:

    You are welcome at 9622.net any time to share your monkey love. We love monkeys too. Especially the ones that cross dress.

  5. Timn says:

    I suppose I should not point out the differance between monkeys and apes but since you are changing minds one brain cell at a time, I will point out that almost all of the movies you mentioned contain gorillas, orangatans, or chimpazees, all of which are apes, not monkeys.

    On the other hand, who really cares?

  6. Solonor says:

    So, is Peter Tork a monkey or an ape?

  7. Not Me says:

    Keeping with your monkey theme, posts and comments. Trained monkey is good reads.

  8. Solonor says:

    Did anyone actually bother to listen to the mp3? According to my stats summary, no. I expected a flurry of posts about “bacon fat” or “Confederate discos” or “damn time warps” or at least a “what the hell was that?” *sigh* Another case of misunderstood comic genius…

  9. Ric The Schmuck says:

    So….. where were your shoes, anyway?

  10. Solonor says:

    So, now instead of wasting Lestah’s tape, we’re wasting Lestah’s bandwidth…

  11. Ric the Schmuck says:

    Wasting that bandwidth, one cell at a time….

    Now hopefully no one will be showing up with their long and mighty sword any time soon…

  12. Ric The Schmuck says:

    …but I digress. Monkey’s, after all. Monkey’s. More monkey’s. All monkey’s, all the time. Gotta love’em. And monkey movies, well, after a quick jaunt over to IMDB.com (a very useful site) I had a few to add to your list…
    Monkey Business – Marilyn Monroe. need we say more?
    Mighty Joe Young – cute movie, and Charlize Theron. again, need we say more?
    Ed – uhhhh, Matt LeBlanc and his monkey “friend”?
    Gorilla’s In The Mist – Sigourney Weaver movies are supposed to be watched, no matter what, right?

    And what about Donkey Kong? Not a movie, but a part of the culture, especially if you have kids like me!

  13. Ric The Schmuck says:

    Shock the Monkey! OK, it’s a song, not a movie.
    But it sez monkey, and it’s fun to say….
    Monkey monkey!
    Monkey monkey monkey!

  14. Solonor says:

    And I have been reminded several times today by Mr. Simon that Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back has great monkeyness. The problem is I haven’t seen it yet! *hanging head in shame*

  15. Ric The Schmuck says:

    I, too, am ashamed that I haven’t watched any of the Jay and Silent Bob stuff…. I know I’d love it.
    Monkey Bone! Brendan Fraser! How’d I forget that?

  16. Domino says:

    Does the “LSD” tape…er, CD translate to those that weren’t there? I listen to it all the time at work and at times have to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. So Solonor, why noy have a “Store” page and sell LSD CDs and Solonor T-Shirts?

  17. Eli Echols says:

    My favorite Monkeybusiness:

    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

    Because he was dead!

  18. Still Eli says:

    Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

    Because he was stapled to the first one!!

  19. Yup says:

    Why did the Third monkey fall out of the tree?

    Peer pressure.

    So, so, sad.

  20. Ric The Schmuck says:

    I had forgotten the Monkey falling out of the tree joke…. many a laugh was had, in a drunken stupor, to that poor old excuse at comedy….
    Monkey! Monkey monkey!! Monkey monkey monkey!!!

  21. Not so Red Menace says:

    Simian, great story. I really must hear other works from that author…I can’t seem to find any for SOME reason.

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