What a strange coincidence. The same day Peat from DiVERSiONZ directs me to his post about The Bible (and Tolkien) For Lazy Or Busy People, I get an e-mail from Lambchop with a link to the Thumbnail Guide to RotK.
Just how lazy do you guys think I am?
Anyway, I am determined to top them both. Inspired by the Lord of the Rings haiku contest (but too late to enter it myself), I tried to write the entire plot in a haiku, then turned around and did it as a limerick.
Too bad they suck.
“Get a hobbit to do it.”
What is a hobbit?
Could be used to destroy everything.
Some folks went to melt it,
But a creature who’d helt it
Was determined to steal back the thing.
Can you do better? Lemme hear it.
The One Ring must be destroyed.
I’m not touching it! Nor you!
Use doughty hobbits!
FOTR:
I’m a happy boy!
OH Great! Adventure ahead!
Sod it! Had to split.
TT:
Orcs attack the men.
Frodo Paralized! Oh no!
Orcs eaten by trees.
ROTK:
More Orcs but no trees.
That’s okay! We got dead guys!
Ring destroyed, GO HOME!
Gollum (since he was left out):
They stole our precious!
We hates hobitses a lot!
Nice ring! Hot magma!
*giggle* They don’t suck. I’m leaving to go skiing in a few, but I’ll think on this one. I’m not much of a poet because I have an innate tendency to babble endlessly and ever since I learned about the old bugger from Nantucket, the concept of a “clean” limerick is a bit foreign to me.
Bilbo has a ring
Destruction this ring will bring
Give the ring away.
Frodo has a ring
everybody wants to take it
Run Frodo Run, away
Frodo has a friend
His name is Samwise Gamgee
Samwise is a tool
This is too painful. I’m gonna stop. (away is 2 sylibles right?)