Boy, I love them Yankees!

Well, according to the terms of The Bet™, I have to give a link to the foul, evil, disgusting Yankee lover and say nice things about the Y-Y-Y…the Yan-Yan-Yank…I can’t do it!!!! Argh!

OK, deep, cleansing breath…

The Yankees are, obviously, the greatest team in baseball. They must be, considering they beat such an awesome team as the Red Sox!

Stop it! Be gracious in your loss. Try again.

I really think that the Red Sox deserved to lose. And fall almost 6 frickin’ games behind Steinbrenner’s overpaid bunch of mercenaries.

Will you quit it? You made the stupid bet. You’re the one who’s obviously insane. Now, pull yourself together and get on with it.

There is no team greater than the Yankees. The Yankees are wonderful. They don’t suck at all. They don’t stink. They aren’t a rotten, evil, disgusting, nasty, horrible, awful, terrible, sucky excuse for a baseball team.

There. Feel better?

Yes. Yes I do. And to prove it, here’s a great baseball joke:

A Red Sox fan, a Cubs fan and a Yankees fan were all in Saudi Arabia performing military duty for the US Army.

While off base, they were caught sharing a smuggled case of booze. All of a sudden, Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia. So, they were sentenced to death!

With the help of good lawyers, they were able to appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. But a Sheik decided that they could be released if they would, instead, take 20 lashes of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, “It’s my first wife’s birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”

The Cubs fan was 1st in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, “Please tie a pillow to my back.” This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Cubs fan was carried away bleeding and crying.

The Yankees fan was up next (he almost finished an entire 5th by himself), and after watching the scene, said “OK, please fix 2 pillows to my back.” But even 2 pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Yankee fan crying like a baby.

The Red Sox fan was the last up (he had finished off the crate–given his allegiance, who could blame him?), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, “You support the greatest baseball team in the world. Your supporters are the best and most loyal fans in all the world. For this you may have 2 wishes.”

“Thanks, your most royal highness,” the Red Sox fan replied. “In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.”

“Not only are you an honorable, powerful man, you are also very brave,” said the Sheik. “If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?”

“Tie the Yankee fan to my back.”

[Grooving to: Cold Cold Heart by Norah Jones]
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11 Responses to Boy, I love them Yankees!

  1. michele says:

    Your snarkiness got the best of you.

    Try again.

  2. Solonor says:

    What? That wasn’t good enough?? *bats eyes*

  3. Sorrento says:

    Awesome joke. As a (replanted) Bostonian, who has had my heart broke every year over the Sox, at least I will have this joke to remember as I hang and shake my head when they don’t make it once again this year. They had such a chance this weekend to get in awesome position against the Yanks but blew it.

  4. kat says:

    Just saying hello Sol. 🙂 Hope you are having a good day. Love ya. *mwah*

  5. Ric The Schmuck says:

    (sounds of a man sobbing)

  6. and the bartender says…

    So far, Solonor is the only one who has made good on his bet, and he couldn’t even do that much without his usual snarkiness. Would it kill him to say one nice thing about the Yankees without an addendum…

  7. robyn says:

    I cannot stand the thought of them adding another year to the sign on Dale Mabry…

  8. Pepperkat says:

    .:is currently on the floor:. Love it!!

  9. Starhawk says:

    You must be really old because I heard that joke when I was in college but it was about an Ohio State fan and a Michigan fan.
    I won’t say how long ago it was but Woody Hayes was coaching Ohio State at the time.

  10. tj says:

    it’s those damn pin stripes …

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