Dirty Little Monkey

My son is a bit… odd. He gets it from his mother (obviously). So, one of the things he’s been doing lately is carrying around this little stuffed monkey. He keeps it tucked into the pocket of his black jeans. These go with his black shirt and his black fingernails. Don’t comment on his new goth look, though, or you’ll get an earfull. (“I’m not GOTH, geez…I just like black.”)

Anyway, we went to see the Matrix Friday night. As we waited in the lobby for Mrs. Rasreth to return, we had the following conversation. I’m still wondering why we weren’t kicked out…

WHINY: Have you seen my dirty little monkey?
ME: Um, no.
WHINY: It was in my pants.
ME: Shhh… *giggle*
WHINY: I need my dirty little monkey! Why was he taken from me?
PEPPERKAT: *chuckle*
WHINY: I like to play with my dirty little monkey.
ME: *snort*
PEPPERKAT: He’s only *this* big…
ME: (face turning red, stifling laughter)
WHINY: He is small, but size doesn’t matter. I have fun with him. He’s soft and furry.
ME: (dying)
WHINY: The last time I saw him, he was with the cats…
ME: *wheeze* Oh my God! Don’t even go there…
WHINY: Maybe I should ask these people if they’ve seen my dirty little monkey…
ME: Thank God, here comes your mother.

There was a lot more, I believe. I can’t remember much once the spasms of laughter hit our juvenile party. Beavis and Butthead would have been proud.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending, because…

He found his dirty little monkey!

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20 Responses to Dirty Little Monkey

  1. Dania says:


    from his mother?…why do I have doubts about that? heh

  2. Maria says:

    Ah, and he looks so happy now that he has found his little friend!! LMAO!! I refuse to read the post that came before this!! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!!!! Have a great weekend sugar!! :o)

  3. kat says:

    lmfao!!! hahahaha. that was truly classic convo now documented for all time. Love it. I also refuse to read the post below. roomie says she’s gonna treat me this week sometime so *shhh** all you matrix spolin’ people!!

  4. Bwahahaha! Another human has been assimilated into the “I’m-not-goth-I-just-like-black” collective! There’s no turning back now!

  5. jay says:

    I hope he doesnt play with his monkey in public.

    Liking black is one thing… black fingernails is goth. =]

  6. Scott says:

    Classic picture. 🙂 I’d have lost it much sooner than you…

  7. robyn says:

    So this is what I have to look forward to out of Todd’s son, huh? 😉

  8. What a great story! I’m sure he’ll be thrilled that you’ve made a permanent record of it in a few years. 😉

  9. rah says:

    I wish I ahd my own dirty little monkey I love monkey’s.

  10. wendy says:

    i want a dirty little monkey to hang from my rear view mirror..

  11. Yes, the weirdness is from my mother.
    No, I’m not goth. I don’t have the depressed mindset.
    No, black fingernails aren’t just for goths, they’re also for girly punks.
    No, I don’t know why I just admitted to dressing like a punk girl on the internet.
    Yes, I’m going to bed before I try to come up with something to say and end up with something just as stupid.

  12. Ric The Schmuck says:

    The weirdness can’t be all from your mother. The evidence…
    #1) You claim you’re not goth.
    #2) Yet you like to dress all in black.
    Which leads us to…
    #3) One of Solonor’s favorite musicians of all time is…………
    Johnny Cash, who also likes to dress in black!
    The persecution rests, ya on-er.

  13. Vicki says:

    I am convinced we have twin sons (wonder if we have twin daughters, too). Mine sounds very much like yours. And it is his mother’s fault (according to his father, the old curmudgeon).

  14. Is there a twin monkey too?

  15. Happiness is… A Carnival! (of Vanities, that is)

    I’m delighted to be hosting this week’s Carnival of the Vanities, where we can see the Best of Blogs for

  16. gw says:

    Aaaahh, once again, Joanie’s pointed me toward someone who makes me roar with laughter. Very funny. You’re a cheeky monkey at that!

  17. Trish Wilson says:

    LOL He sounds like my son’s best friend, another not-a-Goth who wears black and has the black fingernails (which IS Goth).

    The only difference is that my son’s best friend dyed his hair Neon Orange.

    Even better — best friend’s not-a-Goth-but-wears-black girlfriend dyed her hair Electric Blue.

    My son hasn’t gone there yet. He looks like a white perch stuck between two tropical fish when he’s with those two.

  18. Happiness is… A Carnival! (of Vanities, that is)

    I’m delighted to be hosting this week’s Carnival of the Vanities, where we can see the Best of Blogs for

  19. Sunidesus says:

    Oh my, I’m having spasms of laughter over here. That’s way too funny. 😀

  20. GypC says:

    Oh please, Lou Reed had black fingernails 20 years before anyone was “Goth”.

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