Last night Whiny’s bedroom was attacked by the invasion of the carpenter ant people. We tried to keep it conventional by squishing them with shoes and such, but in the end we resorted to the use of chemical weapons. Thus, the boy wound up sleeping on the couch.
This morning as we headed off to church, we tried to tell him to open his door and let the room air out. But the response from the drooling wad of flesh that represented our son was the suspiciously noncommittal: “szzzzkkkkzzzzzz…”
That gave the Mrs. a great idea. Why not have answering machines for sleeping people? I should not be telling you this before the patents have been secured, but it’s just too exciting! Can you imagine it?
Sleeping Dude: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sleeping Dude’s Answer Buddy: I’m sorry. I can’t wake up to listen to you right now, but if you’ll leave your name and a brief message, I’ll try to get back to you when I become conscious. BEEEEEEEP!
Someone Who Needs To Talk To Sleeping Dude: Dude! Get the hell out of bed! The frickin’ apartment’s on fire.
We could even have one for party animals:
Drunk Dude: Aaslkjfaa…hahahahah… I love you maaaaan…
Drunk Dude’s Answer Buddy: I’m sorry. I’m busy making an ass of myself right now, but if you’ll WHISPER your name and a brief message, I’ll try to get back to you when I get over the embarrassment. BEEEEEEEP!
Someone Who Needs To Talk To Drunk Dude: I can’t believe your doing that, man. And with the boss’s girlfriend, too…. You are gonna be sorry tomorrow, dude!
We’re so gonna be rich.