Happy Minioning!

There’s been some confusion on just who’s whose minion. So, in an effort to clear things up, I am posting this handy, dandy Minion Calendar,™ so you’ll know which dark master you are to serve. m’kay?

Solonor – Best. Blogger. Ever. (’cause I said so!)

Bill – Best. Pouter. Ever.

Michele (with one ‘L’) – Best. Demon Wench. Ever.

Kat – Best. Antichrist. Ever.

F*cko (sorry, it’s a PG blog) – Best. Do-crap-for-free-for-the-entire-frickin’-blog-world-guy. Ever.

wKen – Best. Generous Sex Fiend. Ever.

Robyn and/or Dick – Best. Blogging Tag Team. Ever.

Please, be aware of the schedule, and NEVER forget:

1. You may be called to duty as minion to various other lords and ladies of evil on an as-needed basis: wSpaceBran, Scott, Muse, Christine, Christine, Statia, Hoopty, Lisa, Les, Theresa, Promo, Cranky, Annessa, Mordant, Whiny, Pepperkat, or any number of other deities and demi-demons for which I (to my soon to be realized) pain have forgotten.

2. A summoning from Sekimori (mistress of the entire frickin’ world) trumps all scheduled minioning.

Thank you. Happy servitude.

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44 Responses to Happy Minioning!

  1. kat says:

    wow. i’ve been scheduled. i’m honored.

  2. F. McSweeny says:

    Oh great, I get a friday which is when everyone stops blogging. At least I made the list 🙂 So does this mean I gotta give some shit away every friday and blog about it?

  3. Solonor says:

    No! It means you get to have your minions do your evil bidding. Work with me, here!! 🙂

  4. kat says:

    people to do the antichrists bidding? yessssss baby. *wheels turning, lightbulbs flashing on, ideas are forming. world domination, here i come* muuuhahahahahahaha

  5. Solonor says:

    You only have ultimate powers on Thursdays, kat. On Monday’s you’re my lackey. Mwahaha, backatcha.

  6. Sekimori says:

    Finally, someone who f*cking GETS IT!!!

  7. kat says:

    hey, i’ll take thursdays. even the great horn headed beast of hell had to start somewhere…lmao

  8. Blogatelle says:

    Queen Of The Goddamned Internet World

    A summoning from Sekimori (mistress of the entire frickin’ world) trumps all scheduled minioning. Finally, someone who truly understands who is really in charge around here. Solonor, you are exempt

  9. Kim says:

    What? I only get a part time lackey? Who do I speak to about this?

  10. Scott says:

    Not only that, but we share the lackey?


  11. Solonor says:

    I knew I’d catch hell for this…

    You misunderstand. Those are the SCHEDULED masters of evil. You guys get to call on minions whenever you are in need (subject to the “overruled by Seki” clause).

    [To self: Whew! Ya think that’ll work? Maybe it’ll buy ya time to pack yer bags and get outta town, at least…]

  12. Bill says:

    I like being the evil overlord on cheap movie day.
    “Minion! Buttered popcorn, stat!”

  13. theresa says:

    oooo minions! just want i’ve always wanted!

  14. Sunday, bloody Sunday

    You know those underwear with the days of the week screen-printed on the hiney(*? Well this is kinda like that, only for blogs. You’ll notice I share lazy Sundays with the one I love. And don’t you forget it. (*Panties optional.)

  15. F. McSweeny says:

    Do I get to kill boy band members on my allocated day? I need to get some sleep and revisit this after a nights sleep and plan my take over.

  16. Calling All Minions…

    Have you got your very own copy of the minion calendar ™ that Solonor has so generously created? No? Well

  17. Ric The Schmuck says:

    i don’t have the energy for evil overlording, anyways…….. way too much work, minions or no

  18. michele says:

    Damn, my day was yesterday. Now I have to wait a whole week to take over the world.

    What can I do for you today, oh great, evil Kat?

  19. Statia says:

    I’m showin’ goods, and I don’t get to have a minion??? That’s just wrong as…. well that’s just wrong. :oP

  20. Scott says:

    Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?

  21. Solonor says:

    Statia! You, of all people, should know the power of minion calling. All non-scheduled minions have greater responsibilities, as they can call out the dogs at will. You musn’t take this power lightly or use it for silly whims.

  22. kat says:

    i have set my request. do. now. bug them as they have bugged me. if nothing else, this task will give you something to blog about later. they are relentless. be prepared to curse at them.

  23. wSpacebran says:

    hey, that’s wMe!

  24. Annessa says:

    *sniff* I’m Solonor’s minion. Mom will be so proud.

    But just to let you know, I’ve already given my soul to someone else, and you’ll have to ask if he’ll share.

  25. statia says:

    You’ve got a point there Solonor. This week, Robyn is my minion. She’s dahling. I’m going to marry her someday!

  26. Les says:

    Oh hell. I see my name listed in conjunction with something I haven’t been paying close attention to. Does this mean I am a minion or that I can call upon minions?! Dammit, time to read some archives here and figure out my head from a hole in the ground. 🙂

  27. wSpacebran says:

    so, like, at anytime, i can call upon the forces of the minions, if i’ve assumed correctly. i’m not forced to use my minion rations on only one day. right? eggggsellent. >:)

  28. wSpacebran says:

    hooray! i’m wEvil!

  29. Bill says:

    Does that mean you have bolls?

  30. GeekMan says:

    Bread is upset about not being designated Overlord of an Evil Minion Master Day. When I patiently explained to him that in order to become one he would have to overthrow the current Overlord, he issued the following statement;

  31. Sekimori says:

    Um, excuse me. Bread will be silent. Now.

  32. Solonor says:

    See, the problem with that strategy, Geeky, is that he’ll only get a couple of days of absolute rule. What I failed to mention (and what the ever-astute wBranAtee has figured out) is that there is a kharmic balance between those who are and those who are not constrained to the schedule. The ad hoc masters are the ones that the Dominion Uber Humanity organization has determined best suited to wielding power with care and aforethought. DUH believes that the seven timetabled demons (STD’s) need to be limited to no more than a single 24-hour period of minion service.

    Bottom line:

    Scheduled demons = more power
    Non-scheduled demons = more brains

    Besides, ya think yer gettin’ Bill offa Cheap Movie Night? Nuh-uh.

  33. Bill says:

    Excuse me? Are you saying Bread has more brains than me?
    Bring it on, Bread. I’ll make croutons out of your sorry, crusted ass.

  34. Solonor says:

    Hell no! Bread’s not even on the Evil Overlord schedule. Bread is minion all the way.

    (Oh, crap. Now I’m gonna catch it from everybody I left off the list…*sigh*…back of the cave with me…)

  35. Hey F*cko! says:

    Bow before your master!

    According to the Minion Calendar™ I am your Dark Lord Du Jour! Bow before your MASTER! And will someone get

  36. colormepink! says:

    I love minions

    I am a lady of evil and have the right to call upon minions to do my bidding. I am

  37. Pixel Sphinx says:

    I’m a whore, wreckin’ joints left and right.

    I’m like Hoopty, sleeping on sofa’s except I’m trashing blogs. I’m a whore like that what can I say. But

  38. minion work

    per Bill’s Orders, a photo of something in my hand. [er?] although i’m not a minion, as i am

  39. Jason D- says:

    Hey, do I still get to be evil overlord even though I committed Fucko-cide?

  40. Solonor says:

    Ewww…good point. Do you think you’re still evil enough?

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    Jason’s pretty damn evil, even if he does wear bunny slippers. Because they’re, um, real bunnies, yeah, that’s it.

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