This is for all you fellow liberals out there. Why wait to be insulted on someone’s blog when you can do it yourself with the warbot at inksyndicate.com? Just put in your name and gender, and out pops a delightful little rant on your character that would make Ann Coulter pee her pants with glee.
And, if you don’t feel like getting trashed for being liberal (or if you’re one of my misguided conservative readers), you can get your very own record review instead.
I put my pseudonym in, and out popped a review of my 1994 album, “Meet Solonor Rasreth” (3-1/2 stars):
An amibitious concept album about the environment and the simple joy of life, the main dish of this quietly assured meal is the middle-of-the-road “War Horse.” A penchant for power-riffing sonic assault makes Meet Solonor Rasreth truly savvy. Solonor Rasreth gained a reputation early on for being compelling. Meet Solonor Rasreth lives up to its title.
Until now, Solonor Rasreth was principally known as a gutsy live act. Underneath his antics lies a melodic artistic maturity that reveals how he has grown since he was a young punk. Don’t call it a comeback — Solonor Rasreth has been here for years — but never with such crunchy bravado.
His fury has made him the hero of a whole new generation.
Here’s a review for Revolver’s disastrous 1998 album, “No More Mr. Nice Guy” (no stars):
Revolver hits a new low with No More Mr. Nice Guy, their ambitious concept album about the summer of 1964 and homeless prophets. They did it. They finally did it.
No More Mr. Nice Guy will keep the used CD section of your record store stocked for years. On the Brian Eno-produced cut “Power Chord,” they think they’re Journey. Do we really need more songs about prayer in school? You would have to be a total idiot to buy this superficial album.
Twisted and insane aggression doesn’t get any more bloated and overblown.
No More Mr. Nice Guy is a real letdown. You might as well spend 49 minutes listening to your dishwasher.
[ With much gratitude to Norm! ]