Idiotarian In Da House

The latest political wave to hit blogdom is the Anti-Idiotarian Manifesto. I am really tired right now, so anything I say from now on carries its usual stigma of incoherent rambling in triplicate. Here’s my 2-cents, and let’s just let it go at that, please. Thanks.

Believe it or not, I essentially agree with most of the points raised. I have a few quibbles with it, but only two major problems.

First is the emphasis on Iraq as a terrorist-supporting state, as opposed to (I believe) the far more deadly Pakistan and Saudi Arabia–not to mention Indonesia. Evil Saddam is, yes, but I still haven’t seen any of the “obvious” evidence the President says he has that Iraq is more of a threat now than they were a year ago…definitely not enough such evidence to go to war. And really not as scary as the news from North Korea today. Focus, Pinky! Focus!

The second is the lack of any kind of action plan. So, we agree that extremists are evil. Whew! That was hard. Now what? Fortunately, N.Z. Bear has already come up with some pretty darn good ways to implement the beliefs of the manifesto. They are, essentially, the same kind of standard good citizen things everyone should be doing already. I won’t clutter the blogiverse with more.

As you can tell from the paucity of political posts, I don’t much like to open up a can o’ worms on my blog. (Notice the suspicious absense of religious talk, too.) If you pay attention, though, you’ll see that my blogroll is filled with writers who lean left and those who tilt right. I appreciate honesty and good writing, not uncritical yuks who agree with me all the time.

“I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.” – Groucho Marx

So, here’s my official statement of ideology. Just for the record. Then, it’s back to monkeys, Revolver, toys and other meaningless dribble. If I lose any of ya, well, don’t let the door hit you on the ass…

I am a Christian, but not a fundamentalist. I don’t believe every word in the Bible is the literal truth. It was written by men, not once but several times, including translations. It’s impossible someone didn’t edit God’s words.

I believe when our country uses force, we’d better mean it. I am not a pacifist. But I don’t believe in attacking without trying to avoid it, and the last people I trust to tell me the truth are the ones drooling to try out their new war toys.

I am heterosexual, but not a homophobe. Homosexual people are (guess what) people! I wish sexual preference were not a political calling card. But I want there to come a time when they don’t have to fight for their basic rights.

I do eat meat, but I shouldn’t. Not because it’s evil, but because it’s bad for me. PETA is one of the nuttiest groups in the country. But I like puppies and kitties and squirrels and stuff. I could never shoot one. Even if it did this.

I think it’s o.k. to own a gun, but why the hell is it so important that you can’t wait until your background is checked? “It’s huntin’ season, Merle, guess I gotta go buy me a rifle for this afternoon.” Plan ahead, people.

I don’t believe abortion is always the right thing to do, but it’s a woman’s right to decide what to do with her body. Life can only begin at conception in a theological sense. Physically, the fetus can’t survive without the mother. Theological questions should never be within the control of anyone but you or me. The same people that push for less government are usually the ones that want to legislate morality.

Capital punishment is wrong. Unless we can come up with an iron-clad method of proving 100% of the time that we are killing the right person, I don’t want to roll the dice that I’m never going to be on the receiving end of that injustice (and I’m not even poor or black). There are evil people out there that deserve the death penalty. I’d rather lock a thousand of them in a dungeon than kill one innocent person using the rubber stamp of a government. But by dungeon I don’t mean rock star pads, either.

Freedom of speech is one of the most cherished rights we have. Any hindrance put on the press is a burden too tough to bear. But it is the responsibility of the free press to use its powers wisely. Check your facts, lazy asses.

I like all kinds of music, including old country tunes, but I can’t stand blatantly commercial acts. American Idol was evil. Britney Spears is not evil, but her music is foul.

Video games never killed anyone.

Jerry Falwell is evil.
Pat Robertson is right behind him.
George Bush is an idiot.
So is Jesse Jackson.

Islam is not evil. It’s extreme followers are.

Witches are cool.

Canadians are cool.

Transplanted Austrians are cool.

Some people are too cool for words.

Then there’s this guy.

This man should be rich.

Never piss off this woman.

Or this one.

I am a Red Sox fan. But I don’t hate the Yankees….um…wait, yes I do.

There! I must have pissed off everyone in the world by now. It’s time for bed.

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3 Responses to Idiotarian In Da House

  1. Scott says:

    Aww… [shuffles feet] You’re makin’ me blush, boyo!

  2. Ginger says:

    What I objected to about the manifesto was its tone of smug self-righteousness. “You are an idiotarian” does nothing but reinforce the speaker’s cleverness with the in-group. Somebody needs to be riding in the chariot with these people saying “(Wo)Man, thou art mortal”.

    FWIW, I consider myself reasonably liberal, and I can get behind about 90% of your program.

  3. Ric The Schmuck says:

    Testify, brothers and sisters! Seriously. I’m pretty much in agreement on most of your points, which doens’t surprise me in the least.
    “The same people that push for less government are usually the ones that want to legislate morality.” Absolute truth. Gospel, so to speak.
    “But I don’t hate the Yankees….um…wait, yes I do.” Phew…. I thought you’d lost it for a moment. Glad you got it together. I’d hate to have to throw out all of that great pontificatin’ because you lost all credibility by “not hating the Yankees.” Sheesh. As if. Utter rubbish.
    Teetering on the brink of disaster there, boyo.

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