OK, so maybe my prediction of John Edwards as the Democratic nominee isn’t panning out. At least the guy has a sense of humor (yes, I know, it’s part of the marketing campaign, but it’s not any less amusing).
Top Ten Things Never Before Said by a Presidential Candidate
10. “Vote for me or I’ll slash your tires”
9. “Forget universal health care — I’m buying every American an XBox”
8. “In a crisis I ask myself, ‘What would Tony Danza do?’?
7. “I’d give you my plan for economic recovery if I wasn’t rip stinkin’ drunk”
6. “If your last name begins with ‘M’ through ‘Z,’ sorry — your taxes are doubling”
5. “We’re gonna cut the deficit by selling North Dakota to Canada”
4. “I have tons of experience from being president of the Burt Reynolds fan club”
3. “Lady, that is one ugly baby”
2. “When I’m president, I’m putting Regis on Mt. Rushmore”
1. “Read my lips: no new wardrobe malfunctions”
I remember when Bob Dole finished his run, he got on Saturday Night Live and Letterman and was incredibly funny. I kept thinking that if he’d acted less like Oscar the Grouch and more like a real human with a smile, maybe he would have gotten more votes.