Mmmm… french fries…

Still working on the songs. They’ll get done when they get done. I just needed the public promises (kept or not) to get me motivated again. I know it’s sick, but you’re the idiot reading this…

Last night, we finally watched Super Size Me. It was very entertaining, and I would recommend it as required viewing in school health classes. In order to encourage people (especially kids) to make the right choices, you have to give them a clear picture. I place negative reinforcement (“Eat this and die!”) in the category of “good information.”

That said, the movie really has three themes: “McDonald’s sucks,” “Kids aren’t being educated properly,” and “Ooh! Let’s do a science project!”

Seeing as how I worked for The Clown for five years, and the Sainted Spouse™ spent her own year or two in hell, you would think that we’d be pre-disposed to shaking our fists at the screen in righteous anger at the evil empire which is poisoning our youth. But we spent the first half of the movie yelling, “Duh! Don’t eat that shit, morons!”

I find it very disturbing that a company should be sued for your actions. Yes, I know it’s cheap, addictive fare. But how is your self-destructive behavior McDonald’s fault? (Legally, I mean. The morality of marketing this crap to kids is another story.) They didn’t make you walk in and order two Big Macs. Nobody twisted your arm to get you to “super size” it. You’re the parent. You don’t have to give in to your kid’s whining about the latest Happy Meal toy. (NOTE: I’ve got a lawyer standing by, just in case it turns out that they actually do own a mind-control device. “Your honor, we move that the defendant seduced us with two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, and onions on a sesame seed bun… and fries… hot, tasty french fries… um, sorry what was I suing about again?”)

Side rant: Obesity is not the same thing as smoking!

One of the interviewees in the movie related a story about a poor, beset-upon smoker being harassed at the dinner table for his nasty habit and tried to compare it to someone telling an overweight person to put down the fork.

I’ve heard this analogy before, and it is dumb. It’s basically used to defend smokers by saying, “See? You wouldn’t say something this mean to a fat guy. Why pick on the smoker?”

Well, number one, if the fat guy blew mac’n’cheese in my face while I was trying to eat, yes I would. You want to smoke and destroy yourself, have at it. Just don’t make me inhale it.

Number two, I can tell when you’re smoking. I can’t tell why a person is overweight. It may be their own “fault” or it may be a medical condition. Telling someone they’re fat makes a whole raft of assumptions about how they got that way and their ability to do something about it.

It also assumes that they might eat at McDonald’s…

Which brings me back to the lawsuit rant… There’s more than one way to get fat. Proving it’s McDonald’s fault is like proving I’m thinking about the number seven. I might be, but you’ll have to take my word for it.

The second part of the movie got me more in a righteous tizzy. I’ve always been aghast that our public schools are selling the kids to Pizza Hut and Pepsi. More and more, schools are letting big food companies take over the job of offering children a hot, sensible lunch. As usual, the bottom line wins, and instead of real food, the students are being offered vending machine snacks, sodas, pizza and french fries. This is a trend that has to stop, and it is the most powerful part of the documentary for me.

Finally, the whole thing is an experiment. The star of the film spends a month eating nothing but McDonald’s. He gets sick. Duh. However, while most people would say “duh” to that, apparently it’s not obvious to everyone. So, he gives us a great “don’t do this at home, kids” example to follow. (Plus, in the DVD extras, there’s a neato display of how various foods break down…or don’t…)

Will I stop eating at McDonald’s and become a vegan? Hell no. I loves me some Mickey-D fries. But after seeing this, I sure as hell won’t be ordering a Filet-O-Fish any time soon (*shudder*).