Monday Mission 2.43

OK, sing with me now! “There’s no mission like Monday Mission, like no mission I know… everything about it is appealing… everything the censors will allow…”

1. Ever do anything over and over just to make someone else happy but discover you actually hate it?
Not that I can think of. I do lots of things I think will make people happy even if it’s not my number one priority, but if I ever regretted one, I don’t dwell on it long enough to remember. So, either I’m easy or stupid or both (hey, I am blonde).

2. What kinds of obligations do you enjoy?
I enjoy my obligation to treat people with decency and good humor. (Yes, my sainthood papers are tied up in bureaucracy, but they’ll come through any day now. Sheesh.)

3. What are your feelings about celebrating Halloween?
If I weren’t old and sedentary (and painfully shy), I’d really be jealous of all those people going to parties and stuff. Jerks.

4. Are there any stories of bodily functions you would prefer people not share with you in conversation?
Um… how about ANY? Once you’ve changed a few diapers with green and/or orange shit in them, you can pretty much handle anything, but… ick, I don’t want to hear about it more than I have to…

5. What do you think is the most important aspect of personal hygiene that bothers you when people overlook it?
Body odor. Take a bath, smell factory.

6. Ponder the thought of being forever young, living on endlessly, being immortal. What would that life be like for you?
It would get boring after a while, wouldn’t it? Ya seen one “war to end all wars” or “new and improved formula” and ya seen ’em all.

7. What’s the last thing you felt was “worth fighting for?”
I’m a debater, not a fighter. I don’t get too upset about things unless they involve cruelty to children (or anybody, actually, but especially kids) or patently unfair treatment of someone by someone else.

BONUS: Sooner or later, they all will be gone…why don’t they stay young?
Are you going to drop the bomb or not? (Geez, that one was the toughest yet!)

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