Morning Ritual: Updated

In the interest of painting a complete picture of our domestic morning bliss, I would like to address the following comment, left by Ric the Schmuck on the previous post:

I did note the glaring absence of Mrs. R in that scenario.

I would expect that were she to speak, the kiddies would be moving much quicker. Not that I’ve ever heard Mrs.R speak in such a manner, mind you….

I bet she just waits for you to make the coffee before she gets up.

Mr. Schmuck is correct on several counts.

I kinda sorta expanded my role in the waking of the sleeping lumps I charitably referred to as “kids”. Usually, it is her dulcet tones that are heard wafting through the neighborhood in the 6:15 to 6:25 time slot. (This usually includes the phrases “if you’re tired, go to bed at night” and “it doesn’t matter what Dad does.”)

However, while she does appreciate my mad coffee-making skillz, she doesn’t wait for me to make it. She’s been up doing excercises (*shudder*) and getting ready to go to work since the first time I hit the snooze bar on my alarm.

To answer several other queries: Yes, our kids are spoiled. No, I won’t make your lunch. Yes, I exaggerate a bit. No, I don’t know where you put your school uniform. Where did you leave it last? Yes, I do sometimes go back to bed after they leave. No, I don’t make them breakfast (because it would spoil them). Yes, they are often late for school. No, I haven’t figured out a way to get them to go to bed and get a good night’s sleep. Yes, I know they’re just emulating me. No, I won’t change. Yes, I’m done.