In lighter news, I am now a certified Sarcastic Geek. Hey, it’s worth just as much as my MCSE these days…
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In lighter news, I am now a certified Sarcastic Geek. Hey, it’s worth just as much as my MCSE these days…
First they came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up. – Martin Niemoeller
Not satisfied with ripping the Constitution a new one with the USA PATRIOT Act, Ashcroft and Co. have been hard at work preparing some additional tools in the War On Terror.™ Calling it the “Domestic Security Enhancement Act of 2003,” a leaked copy of draft legislation to expand the Patriot Act has been posted by the non-partisan Center for Public Integrity. Last night it was featured on the PBS show NOW with Bill Moyers.
With thanks to TalkLeft, here are some of the highlights of the proposed extensions:
Keeping arrests secret and ignoring Freedom of Information Act requests
Section 201, “Prohibition of Disclosure of Terrorism Investigation Detainee Information”: Letting people know we’ve arrested someone might alert their coconspirators, so we should make sure to keep that secret and ignore Freedom of Information Act requests as long as possible.
Keeping the public in the dark about dangerous practices of chemical companies
Section 202, “Distribution of ‘Worst Case Scenario’ Information”: As provided for in the Clean Air Act, the EPA requires private companies that use potentially dangerous chemicals must produce a “worst case scenario” report detailing the effect that the release of these controlled substances would have on the surrounding community. The proposed extension says this is a “roadmap for terrorists” and so we shouldn’t require this information to be made public by certain companies in which the Vice President and his cronies have interest.
Creating another uber-database – this one collecting DNA information
Section 301-306,
Pitchers and catchers report Sunday.
Not that I care.
Just got a call on my cell…
Pepperkat: Daddy, did I interrupt anything?
ME: Heh, no, I’m at work.
Pepperkat: Has it been two weeks, yet?
ME: Ummm, no dear. It’s only been one week.
Pepperkat: But, but, I can’t concentrate on school or anything! This has been the longest week ever!
In case you couldn’t tell, she’s been banned from the Internet for two weeks for making her mother get up out of her sick bed to go looking for her when she didn’t come home from school on time.
No Neopets. No online RP. No AIM.
I’m waiting for DHS to call any minute. “Mr. and Mrs. Norton, we’ve had a complaint of cruel and unusual punishment…”
Even though this was decided in June, we’re just now hearing the story that Bush Orders Guidelines for Cyber-Warfare. This includes the command that our military figure out how to take down any country’s computer networks at any time.
At first glance, it’s a little scary. Do we really want the U.S. government figuring out how to shut down any computer system they want? What’s to stop them from using that on selected systems here? I know, I know it’s conspiracy theory junk, but it’s still a little creepy to think that we’re paying government employees to do worse things to computer systems than Kevin Mitnick. (Of course, we pay them to kill people, too, so what the hell.)
At the same time, all’s fair in love and war. It’s the military’s job to figure out how to take out an enemy’s computer-controlled radar, missile and communications systems. If that saves the lives of American soldiers in battle, I say, “Amen!”
I do like one of the comments I saw on ZDNet, though: “So, if they find out that Linux is super secure, will Bush start claiming that the open source movement is un-American?”
I quit.
After watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days last night, I realized that I can never be a serious movie critic. How could I be? I sat there and watched a blatant “chick flick” about stereotypical feminine behavior – the screen filled exclusively with beautiful people – and I liked it.
OK, so it helped that I didn’t pay for it. And I thought I heard my wife say “sorry” during one of the scenes where Kate Hudson tries to drive Matthew McConaughey batty with an over-the-top mood swing. But, gosh darnit, I’m supposed to be all “the estrogen levels in the theater were excessive” and “two thumbs down for combining fart jokes with the serious problems of women in journalism.”
*sigh* I just thought it was surprisingly funny.
I guess I’ll be turning in my Blogcritics card now.
We can’t hide our dirty little secrets any longer. It’s time to get it all out in the open.
And that’s what Christine has done, using Make Your Own Jerry Springer Show.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present Bloggers Gone Wild.
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
My little Branamuffin is all set to die now.
Her tombstone is getting engraved. Music Director Su(zi)e has The Jam, Deep Purple, “Disco Inferno,” “Ashes to Ashes” and (of course) “Spirit in the Sky” ready. And I have just stolen written an epic eulogy.
Now, if she’d just hurry up and kick it, we could get this party started.
The other day, someone asked me to name my three favorite authors. Of all the tough questions that you can ask someone with the attention span of a flea… Well, I’ll take a crack at it anyway.
I would say that Kilgore Trout is right up there. I loved Maniacs in the Fourth Dimension almost as much as The Gospel from Outer Space.
Oolon Colluphid’s trilogy – Where God Went Wrong, Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes, and Well, That About Wraps It Up for God – contains some of the best theological reasoning anywhere in the cosmos.
Then, of course, there’s Dick Diver’s classic Attempt at a Uniform and Pragmatic Classification of the Neuroses and Psychoses, Based on an Examination of Fifteen Hundred Pre-Krapaelin and Post-Krapaelin Cases as they would be Diagnosed in the Terminology of the Different Contemprary Schools Together with a Chronology of Such Subdivisions of Opinion as Have Arisen Independently. Not nearly as boring as you might think!
But finding these guys is hard. Amazon.com brings up totally wrong names like Vonnegut, Adams and Fitzgerald. Fortunately, Grump pointed me to the Invisible Library. They’re all here, along with great writers like Bilbo Baggins, Agnes Nutter and Sherlock Holmes. Sadly, they don’t have a way to purchase any of the works. But at least I can find them now!
Wondering how I could be so gosh-darn Dave Barry-like? Well, with AutoDave! The automated Dave Barry column generator, you can be The Dave, too!