Of course I’m Santa! I have robot elves!!
Obey Santa or be crushed by his jolly boots of doom.
OK, I’ve had a little too much eggnog…
Hope all is well with y’all.
Prezzy update coming later.
You will all be soooo jealous.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even my mouse.
I sat at my keyboard in the rare quiet air,
The first chance I’d gotten to sit in my chair.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Zip Zaps danced in their heads.
Mamma, exhausted, was off to her nap,
So I settled down for one more blog rap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a noise,
I sprang from the desk, knocking over my toys.
I ran to the window; I ran like a fop,
Waiting to see if I should call up a cop.
Something tripped the floodlight outside in the yard,
To see some intruder, it wouldn’t be hard.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a minvan, with bloggers, and two kegs of beer!
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it just must be Dick.
More rapid than Sooners these bloggers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Statia! now, Kim! now, Scott and Jason!
On, SpaceBran! on Michele! on, Stacy and Gretchen!
To the party on the porch! See the writing on the wall!
This night is not about Peace at all!”
As drunken hoards that before the wild turkey fly,
When they trip on a sprinkler, look up at the sky.
So out to the back yard the bloggers they flew,
With the sack full of goodies and Billegible too!
And then, like a nightmare, I heard on the roof
Three kat’s–her, her, her–had climbed up for a goof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney Hoopty came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of skateboards he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just dealing some crack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses; His nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
This dude, he was wasted; He’d been hitting the snow.
He came into my dump; He invited himself,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had mucho to dread.
But he wasn’t alone, as he invaded my home.
He brought friends inside with him from that damned LockerGnome.
Cheyenne, she was there, with a laugh and a smooch,
But not Chris Pirillo (he was walking his pooch).
They spoke not a word, but went straight to the TV,
And turned on the PlayStation, in spite of my plea.
They played all my games for hours and hours;
Even Lisa joined in (after watching Two Towers).
There was Becky and Kamel and, yes, three Christines;
A bastard who’s evil and a bug from RHZine.
I even saw a doctor and some guy they call wKen.
They’re running for President; They’re so gonna win!
Annessa, Andrea and Dragonleg, too;
Ruthie, Annette, Brian and Mark Lane–all made it a zoo.
Dave ate some nachos; PromoGuy sat in a chair;
Tim, Mordant, Yvonne and Theresa, they were so there.
Then the party was over; the booze was all drunk.
They packed up the Princess, put her back in her trunk.
But I heard them exclaim, ere they drove out of sight:
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”
Right-click and take this little wreath. Link back to the site you took it from. Leave a message in the comments if you use it so we can all see where it goes! Let’s celebrate the Holidays around the Web! I got mine from Lisa…
I’ve been BOVed at BloggyOpinions. I really need to get over this MPD, though…
The site is loaded with personal commentary on various public items of interest and the authors show a great deal of originality in composing their thoughts. Wit abounds at the Ink Well, as well as an in-depth explanation of each member of the authoring team.
We tell our kids all the time, “It’s not what you say; it’s the way you say it.”
In an LA Times article by Norah Vincent called Putting the Brakes on Blowhard Bloggers, the author attempts to use a libel suit by a mining magnate in Australia versus an American media company as a threat to bloggers to shape up or ship out. Either watch your facts, or beware the long arm of the law.
In fact, I made the same point in an earlier post:
Of course blogging is publishing, and libel laws should absolutely apply! Just because it’s instantaneous publishing, it’s not any less so. And just because I don’t have professional credentials and can change the appearance of this sentence two seconds after I hit “publish” does not mean I abdicate my responsibilities. I can’t rip off your text without violating copyright law. Why should I be able to make untrue and defamatory remarks about your character just because I’m a poor wittle blogger who don’t know no better?
The problem is that Ms. Vincent has a knack for pissing off the very people she’s trying (I think) to defend. From reading her own blog, I get the sense that she’s trying to tell those who tend to write before they think the same thing I just did. She’s not about shutting down blogging. She’s about shutting up the morons. Unfortunately, with free speech you get morons. It’s part of the deal. And I’ll take it.
Where she runs into the ire of bloggers who are not drooling idiots but have not risen to the exalted heights of Instapundit or Andrew Sullivan is that she puts out divisive statements like:
In the major media world, editors and fact-checkers try to catch inaccuracies, excise lies and slanders and print corrections and retractions for mistakes that slip into print. But few bloggers follow this protocol. What they say, however outrageous or unfounded, tends to stick.
I think she’s watched too many episodes of Lou Grant. There’s no editor sitting out there saying, “We need three reliable sources before we print this” anymore. It’s more like “You took the time to check that?? Shit! We lost the scoop. You’re fired!”
I think that her heart is in the right place, but dividing the blogosphere into camps of “legitimate” and “blowhard” by some undefined standard is not going to help. In fact, if I must be pigeonholed, I’ll stick with the unfettered blowhards. That way, I’ll always be free call them idiots when they need it.
[ via A Small Victory ]
Thanks for the button, QOTWFI!
Gollum!
Best. Animated character. Ever.
We just returned from a visit to Middle Earth. They seem to be having a bit of a tiff over someone’s wedding band. Serious looking guys with horses were trying to protect the women and children from nasty looking dudes with bad dental work. Heads were flying off bodies. Reminded me of my wedding reception…
Since this is the middle of the story, I can see why Peter Jackson found it the hardest one to sew together. The beginning already happened last year, and he didn’t want to put a sappy “when last we left our heroes” recap on this one. And the end is, well, not really an end. All told, he did a bangup job of things.
Of course, this review is premature. As with the first one, I spent most of the movie trying to place the action in the book. The second viewing is the one where I’ll actually watch the film and let it wash over me without the nagging “Oh, that’s not in the book that way!” or “Is that what comes next?”
I am prepared for my second helping of Tolkein, sir. May I have another?
[ Also on Blogcritics ]
Bill is my favorite Canadian. In context, that puts her somewhere just above Regis Philbin on the overall list. (Hey, I’ve already gotten a “Bite Me” from Michele and Statia today. I’m going for the trifecta.)
Anyhow, the poor baby’s been dreadfully sick this week, and it’s getting so bad that I feel guilty making fun of her. (Not that you could tell.) So, I think we need to find her germs a new home. I’m calling on all Bill’s minions to suggest someone more worthy for her assorted symptoms to inhabit (other than me).
I vote for Barbra Streisand. How about you?
CNN.com – Lott stepping down as majority leader – Dec. 20, 2002
Rats! Juicy targets like that are hard to find. I was hoping he’d hang around…
If’n ya like explosions (and who don’t?), check out the trailer for Terminator 3. Our family has been bemoaning the lack of new Arnie catch phrases (“You should not drink and bake” gets used a lot around this time of year), so we’re all a-twitter over this.
[ via that Stupid Evil Bastard, Les ]
