Here’s a new feature of the Ink Well in which the author (who has been the answer to life, the universe and everything for almost two months now) will share his unending knowledge with his vast throng of readers.
Online Friends: A good idea? Or heartbreak waiting to happen?
One of the perils of having friends is losing them. (Yes, I am speaking hypothetically here, as it has been previously established that I have no friends.)
At least if your “real” friends (i.e., the ones whose fridges you raid) have the gall to get themselves hurt or killed, you’re likely to know about it within a day or two. You might even be able to visit them in the hospital. (A friend visits you in the hospital. A real friend apologizes for putting you there.)
But what about your online friends? If the same thing happens to them, what do you do?
Let’s say, for example, that you’re chatting with a friend (let’s call her “N”) via cell phone as she’s driving through Iowa in the middle of the night. Suddenly, she says “Oh shit!” and the line goes dead. To further compound things, let’s say you were just teasing her for driving while talking on a cell phone. You’re left sitting there wondering whether or not your friend has just become a speed bump for a passing semi, right?
And what if it were true? What if she really did wind up mangled in a ditch in the middle of the godforsaken Iowa prairie? Sure, her hubby (let’s call him “A”) is a nice guy and all, but is calling her imaginary pals going to be the first thing on his mind? No! It might take him weeks to even make a blog entry about it (assuming said spouse is a blogger in the first place!). And even then you probably won’t be
invited able to attend the funeral.
Think about it. Simply put, these online relationships are not worth the emotional toll you’ll pay. For your own sanity, I strongly urge you to dump all of your online friends immediately.
And when they ask you why, tell them: ‘cuz Solonor sez.