A Small Victory: the return ho ho holy shit!
Yes, kids, it’s time for old Rudolph to fire up his blog again.
What? It’s Santa’s blog? Screw that noise! Where’s my agent? Tell her to stop planning Michael Jackson’s come-back tour and get her ass over here, or I’m gonna find someone who’ll work for a living!!
In case you missed it, here’s a list of some of the depraved characters from last year. It was sick, sad and sordid. I loved it. (Don’t bother clicking on the links in that post. They’re all dead. The links, not the people, ya goob.) I’ll try to remember who was who for you, beyond Rudolph, Yukon Cornelius and Bubba (schizophrenia? yes, have some).
Oy, Rudy, lemme tell ya, Jacko has me running in circles around myself, what with this latest misadventure.
He wants to do a Christmas special now, but I’m having a hard time convincing him that people aren’t gonna think that the mirrors on the ceilings in “Santa’s Workshop” aren’t a little odd… and that Astroglide isn’t used to oil up Santa’s table saw. *shakes head* And that the Tickle Me/Grope Me/Felch Me Elmo collection isn’t the Christmas Eve back stock…
Sorry Rudy. Let me put out the fire on this Pepsi commercial first, then I’m all yours, babe!