Since I just spent half the night de-spamming a friend’s blog, I have come to know the true soul of the spammer. Their loveliness knows no bounds. In fact, I cannot help but shout out to the heavens of their soft, kindly beauty. With apologies to Ms. Browning…
How do I love spammers? Let me count the ways.
I love them to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of my Cialis and ideal Viagra.
I love them to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need for hot girl-on-girl sex and Texas holdem.
I love them freely, as men strive for mortgage advice;
I love them purely, as they turn from their Xanax and Prozac.
I love them with a passion put to use in casino gambling
In my old penis enhancer, and with my diet pills.
I love them with a love I seemed to lose
With my spam filters, — I love them with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my digital cable filters! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love them better after death (or MT Blacklist).
*sigh* Spammers are dreamy.