By now you’ve probably heard of the pay-per-view alternative to this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, The Lingerie Bowl. In case you haven’t, 4 words: underwear, models, tackle, football. (Hey, it beats the stupid Bud Bowl… except for that whole sexist pig thing… ooh, sexist pigskin!)
Anyway, Jim Caple at ESPN.com has come up with the Top 10 Things Overheard in the Locker Room at the Lingerie Bowl:
10. “Remember, we’re wearing the alternate dark bras today with the throw-back panties.”
9. “Coach wants to see you in his office. And bring your catalogue.”
8. “Damn, I hate playing in Green Bay in December.”
7. “Coach, I CAN’T wear Victoria’s Secret! I have an exclusive endorsement deal with La Perla!”
6. “How many times do I have to tell you? Laces out! Laces out!”
5. “That other team is nothing but a bunch of pantywaists!”
4. “Hey, great bra! Is that the new Air Chastain or the Wonder Hamm?”
3. “Call me old-school, but that girl couldn’t carry Heidi Klum’s G-string!”
2. “New Orleans ought to have a great Lingerie team — half their players are men.”
1. “Those girls on the other team pull their fishnet stockings on one leg at a time, the same as us!”
Oh now, waitaminute…fishnets aren’t put on one leg at a time unless they are just stockings with a garter. If they are the panty type, it’s more like one foot — other foot — one ankel — other ankle — one knee — other knee – one thigh — OH damn! Runner! Quick, the clear nail polish!