Yankee Fans? Help! I need “how-to-be-a-winner” lessons!

Wow! That was fun. Anyone up for seeing the latest Fatty Arbuckle movie? Now all we need to do is bring our boys home from France! Over there! Over there!

Just when things were getting serious between me and the girl at the Suicide Prevention Hotline, the Sox had to go and cancel our annual date. Bastidges.

I woke up to a different world. A world where “1918” was the year we entered World War I. Not “the last time…” A world where Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player ever. Not “The Curse”. A world where I can hear the names “Bill Buckner” and “Bucky Dent” and “Aaron Boone” and just go, “Yeah, that sucked… but who’s your Papi!”

I don’t know how I’m going to handle being just another baseball fan and not a (insert eye-roll) Red Sox fan.

I do know one thing, however. I want to thank a whole bunch of baseball players for making the last 37 summers of my life the most wonderful experience a boy could have. You’ll all be splitting my therapy bill.

Thank you…

George Scott, Rico Petrocelli, Carl Yastrzemski, Tony Conigliaro, Bill Lee, Doug Griffin, Luis Aparicio, Bob Montgomery, Carlton Fisk, Cecil Cooper, Tommy Harper, Rick Miller, Luis Tiant, Dwight Evans, Rick Burleson, Bernie Carbo, Fred Lynn, Jim Rice, Denny Doyle, Butch Hobson, Fergie Jenkins, Bill Campbell, Jerry Remy, Dennis Eckersley, Bob Stanley, Tom Burgmeier, Tony Perez, Glenn Hoffman, Rich Gedman, Carney Lansford, Bruce Hurst, Oil Can Boyd, Bill Buckner, Marty Barrett, Wade Boggs, Tony Armas, Roger Clemens, Don Baylor, Spike Owen, Dave Henderson, Ellis Burks, Mike Greenwell, Tony Pena, Tom Brunansky, Mo Vaughn, Frank Viola, John Valentin, Tim Naehring, Troy O’Leary, Tim Wakefield, Tom Gordon, Nomar Garciaparra, Scott Hatteberg, Pedro Martinez, Derek Lowe, Jason Varitek, Jose Offerman, Trot Nixon, Brian Daubach, Lou Merloni, Rich Garces, Shea Hillenbrand, Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon, Doug Mirabelli, John Burkett, Alan Embree, Kevin Millar, David Ortiz, Gabe Kapler, Mike Timlin, Mark Bellhorn, Bill Mueller, Pokey Reese, Orlando Cabrera, Doug Mientkiewicz, Dave Roberts, Curt Schilling, Bronson Arroyo and Keith Foulke

(Now I can root for the Tigers to win one for a change without feeling so guilty.)

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14 Responses to Yankee Fans? Help! I need “how-to-be-a-winner” lessons!

  1. Lesley says:

    Gloating. You definitely need to gloat. You need to come up with obnoxious chants (“Who’s your Papi” is a good start).

    But seriously, next year, just stop worrying about the other shoe dropping and start enjoying the game. Your team did something no other baseball team has done before and proved that they can win it all. When a player does something monumentally stupid, instead of getting that sinking “Oh no, not again” feeling, just remind yourself that this was the team that came back from an 0-3 ALCS deficit to win 8 straight games, sweeping this year’s so-called “best team in baseball”. They can recover. That’s what Yankees fans do. Well, it’s more ingrained in Yankees fans (we don’t really think about it anymore), but you have to start consciously in order to make it part of your baseball fan persona.

    Congratulations, BTW. You guys deserved it.

  2. No gloating (unless in Cooperstown … then all bets are off and you can spit on everyone walking down the street) until you do it back to back. Then you can sneer indiscriminately at every other poor sod.
    Which ain’t gonna happen, so just go nutso and enjoy it before the next season comes.

  3. erin says:

    did the cards just not have anyone whose name started with a B in it? i can’t remember.


    you do realize that i am going to be banned from yankee stadium for admitting i rooted for the sox, right?

  4. JimSpot says:


    Solonor says it right… Solonor’s Ink Well: Yankee Fans? Help! I need “how-to-be-a-winner” lessons!…


    In honor of our World Champion Red Sox, and barring any catastrophic event like a terrorist attack, God forbid, or John F*** Kerry dropping out of the Presidential race, today’s posts will be dedicated to the team who did what…

  6. Sherri says:

    it took an eclipse of the full moon to make it happen. Keep that in mind…..

  7. MJ says:

    ::thud:: (redux)

    Enjoy, bask in the glow (go on gloat – you’ve earned it!) It’s a little late for face painting but maybe a nice tasteful 6’x20′ banner in your front yard and a loud speaker looping We are the Champions

  8. peat says:

    Props to the champs. You guys certainly deserved it. Can I take that butt ugly Red Sox graphic off my blog now?

  9. Ric The Schmuck says:

    And even though you covered the biggest names, let’s not forget Dave Stapleton, Calvin Schilarldi, & Tom Seaver (from ’86), Heathcliffe Slocumb (who we traded to get Varitek & Lowe!), Byung Yung Kim (OK, we can forget him) Jack Clark, Greg Harris, Reggie Cleveland, Tony Fossas, Lee Smith, Sam Horn (hey, we have to listen to him on NESN all summer, you need to remember him, too!), Matt Young, Scott Cooper, Hideo Nomo, Jeff Gray, Rick Wise, Reggie Jefferson, Carlos Quintana, Jim Burton (remember him from ’75?) Jody Reed, Cecil Cooper, Andre Dawson, Ben Oglive, Mike Boddicker, Steve Lyons, Al Nipper and countless others.

    Let’s also remember to thank Ned Martin, Curt Gowdy and Ken Coleman, too. They were also a huge part of the last lifetime of Red Sox memories.

  10. Linkmeister says:

    Offerman! How can you forget Jos

  11. Solonor says:

    Offerman is in there.

    And I’ll take the hit on Greg Harris, Scott Cooper, Jody Reed and Carlos Quintana (and the broadcasters). But Cooper is in my list. The rest… eh, not so much.

  12. Rob_NC says:

    ..ok,now can we get back to politics….;-))
    ..enjoy.. its been a long time coming..

  13. JimSpot says:


    I’ve modified this post as a round-up of good (and some bad) news bearers… feel free to link your Red Sox post in the comments! Solonor says it right… Solonor’s Ink Well: Yankee Fans? Help! I need “how-to-be-a-winner” lessons! Just…

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