Baby, it’s cold outside

Yes, yes, I know you think you’re all cold with your “below zeroes” and your “wind chills,” but for once think about me! I’m sitting here in Florida – FLORIDA – and the temperature is down into the 30’s – the 30’s! This is just not right. You’re in Maine and New York and Minnesota and Canada and those other Communist states because you like that kinda stuff.

Meanwhile, I used my superior intellect to go someplace where you don’t have to worry about your nose hairs freezing together, possibly suffocating you when all you wanted to do was run to the store to buy a case of beer. I’m supposed to be deciding between which pair of swimming trunks to wear during the Christmas Eve pool party!! (I really like the ones with Rudolph, but the nose placement is a bit, um, well…maybe if I drink enough “egg nog”…)

So, while I really am concerned about how your fingers are turning blue when you try to light a match to your last copy of Playboy in order to huddle around its glowing embers, I’ve got my own winter disaster here. I need to buy a sweater, dammit!!

This entry was posted in Life, the Universe and Everything. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Baby, it’s cold outside

  1. elfchick says:

    I know exactly what you mean. Granted I’m a bit further north, but not that much. It’s fricken cold here! I need to send the men folk out to chop wood (ie go to the store and buy it) hehehe And to top it off we had gas issues yesterday (not those kind) so it was 30 outside and if we were lucky about 50 inside for most of the morning.

  2. bran says:

    that’s it.
    i’m sending this here Ontario cold front YOUR way.

  3. geeky says:

    30? pffft. 30 is warm!

  4. Chari says:

    I just posted about this, too. It’s just not right… I had to wear socks this morning inside my slippers! Gah.

  5. Domino says:

    Even your feeble attempt at provoking pity can not raise one iota of sorrow for your predicament. I laugh at your frozen cheeks and your numb fingers.


  6. Ric The Schmuck says:

    Look, you got all the appropriate pity with those silly hurrycanes. I’m good with that.

    As for 30 degrees, wah. This I am liking, very much.

    Got the chains on your tires yet?

    Stocking up on supplies? (Oh, wait a minute. I’m speaking to the person who bought junk food for the hurricane…. silly me.)

    Want me to send you a snow shovel? Don’t play innocent, I know you know what those are.

    Thermal underwear? Electric socks?

    Eh, we laugh at your puny 30 degrees, in “paradise”. Now run along and shiver somewhere else, before we taunt you a second time!

  7. Linkmeister says:

    Hey, it’s even in the sixties at night out here. I’ve already got the cable-knits out!

  8. jcwinnie says:

    Oooohhh, there is a certain (stops to rub hands again to restore circulation) vindictive strain to that post. Wonders if it is worth (scrapes frost from screen) a visit to the shelters, shopping for just the right sort of (grits teeth to stop them from chattering) crusty, vermin-ridden, Eau de derelict, sweater for Solly.

  9. Pete B says:

    …and I’m supposed to have….MERCY???

    Yah-right! 🙂

  10. Cableman says:

    “Eau de derelict”
    I don’t think I want to know what magic you used to pull that sweater out from in there…

Comments are closed.