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Another Fricking Celebrity Wedding!
Now look, GeekMan, just because Britney did it, you don’t have to run off and get married in some quickie ceremony. I mean, sure you’re jealous since she broke up with you. But that was years ago man! Get over it already.
GeekMan and HoBiscuit. The J-Lo and Ben of the Blogosphere.
If I didn’t make fun of him, he’d think I didn’t love him no more.
Posted in Wouldya Lookit That!
1 Comment
Roll to hit?
Apparently, someone’s gone to an awful lot of trouble to create a new d20 source book called the Book of Erotic Fantasy. Yes, it’s the Dungeons and Dragons guide to sex.
There are rules for “special skills” and “feats” and a look at how various races and alignments view sex. It actually looks like it’s a very well done tome. But, as the reviewer put it: “There’s a reason why many people don’t include these issues in their roleplaying experience – some of the material seems awkward to bring into a game, especially depending on maturity level.”
I mentioned it to the Mrs. She’s always been a member of our little gaming groups, and she’s far more mature than I am. And even she couldn’t resist:
What’s your saving throw vs. STD’s?
Yeah, baby! A critical hit…ohhhh yeaaahhh…
Oooh a fumble… that’s gotta hurt!
You want me to do what? With an orc?!
Is that your bastard sword, or are you just happy to see me?
That’s some racial ability you got there…
Actually, come to think of it, all you folks fantasizing about Legolas and Frodo might be able to make use of this thing. It could be just the ticket for those folks that like to role-play without dice. Not that I’ve ever heard of anyone doing that. I’m just sayin’…
Posted in Strangeness
6 Comments
Sunday Sermon 2B
Well, I’m not sure that I learned anything useful in church today, but here goes…
It’s an odd Sunday school I go to. Very casual. And the pastor is not exactly the stuffiest bird in the chicken coop. For example, today when discussing the role of a priest as a mediator between God and man (and why we don’t, generally, see the need for one in Protestant churches), he tossed out that the magician’s phrase hocus pocus comes from a corruption of a Latin phrase used in Catholic mass–Hoc est corpus… That’s where the bread is transformed into the body of Christ.
He wasn’t saying this as a condemnation of Catholic faith, just as an interesting tidbit. I’d never heard that before, so I looked it up. Apparently, that’s one origin. The other is that it comes from the name of an ancient magician named Hocus-Pocus.
Posted in Sunday Sermon
4 Comments
Sunday Sermon 2a
Haven’t been to church yet this morning, so this isn’t the “what did I learn” message. But it might be.
Ms. Britney may not have been one of those people whining about “preserving the sanctity of marriage” by banning homosexuals from legally tying the knot, but she gives us a fine example of how much latitude the law gives to the word “sanctity”.
Ya think maybe a “joke marriage” might be a wee bit irritating to a gay couple who truly love each other and who can’t form a legal union? Or who face such strong opposition to it that Congress thinks we need a constitutional amendment to prevent such horror?
Nah! It was, as Campbell Brown put it on the Today show this morning, “a fun story.”
Oh, that Britney!
[ via swirlspice ]
Posted in Sunday Sermon
7 Comments
The Last Referrer List (Sans Tom Cruise)
Well, that was fun.
I love numbers and stats and lists and being silly. The monthly Referrer Madness gave me the chance to turn you into cartoon superheroes, set you up to star on Fox TV shows, associate you with Brain Damage, take you completely out of context, re-cast you as hobbits, dwarves and orcs, imagine how you’d have written Lord of the Rings, and make up little known ‘facts’ about you.
I hope I didn’t offend anyone too much by turning their blog into something to be ranked like a stupid VH1 List or by not including them at all. My intent was to be selfish and silly, not mean and hurtful.
So, to wrap things up, and in tribute to Casey Kasem leaving American Top 40 this week, I went back and assigned points to the blogs in the past Top 20’s (20 for first, 19 for second, etc.) and compiled the The 2003 Top 40 Sites From Which Nice People Came To Look At The Monkey In The Window™.
Keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars.
At number 38 we have 3-way (heh) tie.
First up is Yvonne and her hit single: Don’t piss off the pregnant lady! Statia hits the charts with a cross-over country song: I need to wake up, put on my makeup And teen idol Will woos the ladies with: Queer Eye for the Straight Dictator
At 37, the lovely and talented Zuly sings the Mary Kay Theme Song.
Not seen in these parts for some time, but holding on to the number 36 spot is the once-and-future Queen of Spork, Christine and her new single: Goin’ to the Chapel
At 35, Annessa does a soulful shouter called: It’s my birthday! Buy me presents!
Eric Brooks comes in at number 34 with his attempt at changing musical styles: Gimme Some Skin!
A tie at number 32 sees Bill trying to get a little Respect and Speaker moving up the charts with Mistress Banshee is an unwashed heathen.
At number 31, the Artist Formerly Known As Unixgal covers the Beatle hit: (You Say It’s Your) Birthday
Joanie clocks in at number 30 with her version of We Are the World.
Two artists at number 28 have protest songs. Skits sings Momma’s don’t let your babies grow up to be gator food and Melissa croons We Shall Overcome.
At 27, MJ, um, well…she actually does real songs. Show off.
Peat makes the chart at number 26 with his novelty song: If you stare at the logo on this page long enough you will go insane.
At number 25, Mr. Unix Gal discovers that old Lawrence Welk hit: Tank You DVD Boysss
Andrea makes it to number 24 with: Mama’s Got A Brand New Bag
At 23, BitterKat does the punk rock: I ain’t got no permalinks! So bite me!
Chris hits 22 with his salsa rap: Save the Internet!
Another Chris comes in at 21 with his soul ballad: Do you remember me?
Hawaiian music is always popular with countdown listeners. Hot island star Linkmeister makes it all the way to number 20 with the native strains of: Germany, My Germany
Canadian music is just as popular these days as it ever was. That’s why Dania comes in at number 19 when she sings: The Strawberry Shortcake Song
At number 18, Laurence gives us one of his trademark love songs with: Shove it up your ass, Bloggies!
Theresa comes in at 17 with her N Sync cover: Bye Bye Bye
Busy Mom has the number 16 spot with: Flirting with Disaster
Buzz is at number 15 with: Everything you know is wrong!
The third Chris in the charts takes the number 14 spot with his AC/DC cover: You Shook Me All Night Long
The reclusive Gretchen shows up at number 13 with an old song from the 80’s: I always feel like somebody’s watching me
We miss Dragonleg. But, through the magic of Google cache, this number 12 superstar keeps on keeping on.
At number 11, Pickle Juice serves up some dance fever with: Denny Terrio’s love children
And now, the Top 10…
Posted in Referrer Madness
13 Comments
We’ve got Movie Sign!
The Digital Archive Project is dedicated to preserving certain TV shows from extinction by giving fans a space for trading video archives of them. The best news is that when I say “certain TV shows” I mean “certain TV shows that a geek like me likes to dream of strangling TV executives for canceling.” Their library is filled with MST3K, Freakazoid, SCTV, Pete & Pete and others.
One of features of the site that I really like is their dedication to making sure that if a show becomes (or is about to become) commercially available, they will take it off the list. I’m doing the happy dance that Invader Zim is not on their list for that reason.
Another is the great list of quotes from each episode. I could spend weeks just reading the MST3K quotes!
[Joel] You know, I found the secret of life the other day, but it kinda bummed me out. [Crow] You found the secret of life? Why did it bum you out? [Joel] Because it was on 8-track…
[Servo] How do you make a woman float? [Joel] Root beer and two scoops of dead woman.
[Joel] When you’re out in the woods, you can’t beat Off!
[Crow] She looks kind of skinny. She must be a Carpenter ant.
[Narrator] How far can the human mind penetrate the mysteries of the great beyond? [Crow] 13 feet, 4 inches; 1920 Olympics.
[ via BitterKat ]
My how time doth fly!
It has been brought to my attention that some people think my comment about having the “first snore of 2005” was in error.
These people are wrong.
Solonor’s Groovy Computer Baseball League is rolling into its 2005 season at the same time as some other folks think it’s actually 2004.
That is their problem, not mine.
Just because one guy almost threw away a credit card because it “expired” as of August 31, 2004, it does not mean we are addicted nor have we broken with reality. So there.
Posted in Baseball
3 Comments
A New New Year Tradition
Just got back from ringing in the new year with Tom Cruise. Man, that samurai movie is longer than I thought!
Our tradition of sleeping through the passing of another year seems to be shot to hell since the Y2K bug skipped over us. Up until then, I don’t recall seeing midnight more than once. But we decided to go to a “Let’s Watch the World Blow Up Together” party with friends on December 31, 1999. We rang in 2001 by seeing a late showing of Fellowship of the Ring. Last year, we had relations. (Visiting us from Maine, perverts.) This year it was back to the movies.
We have no center! We’re drifting all over the tradition map!
Well, I hope you people that actually made yourselves aware of the click of a clock hitting the magic midnight hour had a wonderful time (or will have, for you West Coasters). I’m going to go have my first snore of 2005.
Not counting Tom Cruise, of course.*
*I really loved the movie. Except for the ending. Tell you about it later.
Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything
11 Comments
Thus the nickname…
Sitting here listening to my son (Whiny the Elder for those of you playing along at home) while he’s doing the dishes. He keeps spouting off strange lines like: “Cheese is my only natural enemy!” and “Cheese ate my real parents!”
I think his sister might have to reconsider her mac ‘n’ cheese addiction.
Either that or start rinsing off her dishes when she’s done.
Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything
6 Comments