Solonor's Inkwell

From The People’s Republic of Seabrook comes this list that he found:

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.
4. The Washington Times is read by people who suppose God wants them to run the country, would like to make enough money to understand the Wall Street Journal, and are comforted every morning knowing those who read the New York Times are no longer running the country.
5. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like their smog statistics shown in pie charts.
6. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and if they didn’t have to leave L.A. to do it.
7. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
8. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat in the subway.
9. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the country either, as long as whoever’s running the country does something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority lesbian feminist atheist dwarfs, who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or galaxy, as long as they are Democrats.
11. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
12. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the supermarket.

To that he adds:

“The Houston Chronicle is read by those who smuggle in our maids and gardeners from Mexico and Central America.”

And I add:

The Orlando Sentinel is read by people who live in a fictional country ruled by a goofy mouse and where everyone is happy. Or else.

Ha! Per request of AlteredBoy…

Watching Grass Grow

AND

Watching Corn Grow

Tonight’s mission (inspired by the previous link): Find as many fine examples of Too Much Time On my Hands as I can stand.

• Digital Waterguns – Imagine a place with over a thousand categorized photos of toys designed to inflict moistening upon unsuspecting foes. Imagine a digital watergun museum.
• How Much is Inside? – How much beer in a keg? How much ketchup in a packet? We need answers dammit!
• Anime Blood – How about a database of anime character bloodtypes?
• The Literal Ultima – The site describes itself as a Project Gutenberg for Ultima. In fact, it contains the transcripts of every NPC conversation and every book, scroll and sign in the first seven Ultima games.
• Toastman Portraits – Portraits in the preferred medium of true artists everywhere: Toast!
• Museum of Coathangers – I especially like the Joan Crawford Wing.
• LED Museum – Any site who’s opening page features a “GUESS THE DIODE! Is this a Germanium radio diode or LED?” question gets my vote.
• Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum – I wasn’t going to include this…until I saw the photo of the school kids visiting! What the hell? How do you get funding for a field trip like that?
• Industrious Clock – Finally, an oldie, but a goodie. Someone with too much time on his hands. Literally.

Oh, this is too cool for school.

You know how when you need to give out your e-mail address to someone (or something), so you create another stupid Hotmail, Juno or Yahoo account….’cuz you know it’s gonna attract spam like flies to feces? Mailinator let’s you do that whenever, wherever you want. And here’s the best part: There are no accounts! There are no passwords! It’s a virtual mailbox that you can make up on the spot!

All you have to do is say something like, “My e-mail address is bubba@mailinator.com” and, like magic, it is! Without even going to the site to sign up for anything! We are living in an age of true wonders.

I tested it by sending mail to solonor@mailinator.com, and sure enough, it just showed up at a made-up box. You can check them if you want. Or not. Mailinator will just erase anything sent to that address in a few hours. It can sit there and collect spam until the end of time! Next time you need another throwaway address, you can just say your address is “mickeymouse@mailinator.com”.

[ via Lockergnome ]