Welcome to the Wireless World

You thought you felt the earth tilt yesterday. It wasn’t your imagination. The equilibrium of everything shifted. Because, believe it or not, as geeky as I am, I have never owned a cell phone–until now. That’s right. I’ve finally made it into the Nineties!

It’s not that I am technophobe. Hell, no! If it’s a gadget, I gotta fiddle with it. I’m the guy that turns on all the noise-making toys in Wal-Mart…

A combination of factors lead to my cell-less state:

1. I ain’t that rich. Cell phones are not very expensive. But when your credit card bills makes Uncle Sam go: “Damn! Interest on the debt, my ass!” there’s not much room for extras.

2. I’ve been stuck with a pager before. In the list of “been there, done that’s”, this one’s the worst.

“Mmm, that’s one good looking Thanksgiving turkey….” BEEP!
“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy…” BEEP!
“O.K. The baby’s finally asleep…” BEEP!

3. Mrs. Rasreth–the most wisest, kindest, lovingest person in the entire world–doesn’t like them. (See items 1 and 2.)

Unfortunately for our fight to remain cell free, Whiny the Elder goes to a technology magnet school that is some miles away from home. After the third trek to pick him up from an after school activity to which he did not go, Mrs. R started to see the benefits a handy phone might provide. Also, we have lived in our house long enough to dig into a different kind of debt (one that doesn’t involve triple-digit interest compounded by the nanosecond).

When she declined to join my daughter and me at the Mall (“Dad, the Neopets merchandise is out!”), I smelled my chance. She knew it, too. According to later reports, we were not five minutes out the door when she sighed, “He’s gonna come back with some expensive electronic device.” I am soooo predictable…

We returned with Neopets merchandise and cell phones (yes, two of them…hey, they were FREE!). It only took a half hour support call to get one of them to work (a great start)….but I already have mine set to ring “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”.

Life is good.

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