Solonor's Inkwell

New York Daily News – Hell Freezes Over

Whoa. I had this really freaky dream last night.

The Red Sox beat the Yankees in the ALCS after being down 3 games to none! Isn’t that wild?

I really gotta lay off the booze…

“Thank you for calling Solonor’s Ink Well. We’re sorry we can’t come to the blog right now, but we’re having a myocardial infarction. Please, leave a comment at the sound of the beep.”

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My heart. This is the big one, Elizabeth!

Feh. Birthday schmirthday. Just because some people would rather believe in ghosts than in the ability of their team’s players, it doesn’t mean that there’s a curse. In fact, I know of several counter-curses to the Mick’s birthday kharma.

For example:

Today in 1803, the Senate ratified the Louisiana Purchase Treaty by a vote of 24-7. The capital of Louisiana is Baton Rouge… that means “red sox” in French. The baton rouge are going to win 24-7!! (Either that, or they’re going to be playing these games 24-7 until eternity, I can’t say for sure.)

Today in 1973, Richard Nixon fired Watergate prosecutor Archibald Cox and the guy that refused to do his dirty work for him. It was the Saturday Night Massacre. Watch for Sox right fielder, Trot Nixon, to have a HUGE night!

And today in radio history just about clinches the whole thing. On this day, the electrical vaccuum radio tube was introduced by the guy that invented radio (you know the place where sane people who aren’t forced to listen to Tim McCarver get their baseball?)! And Arlene “Let’s Play Two” Francis was born… in Boston!

Mickey Mantle’s birthday is supposed to overcome all of this??? These Yankee fans are insane!

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ARTHUR: Look, you stupid bastard. You’ve got no arms left.
BLACK KNIGHT: Yes, I have.
ARTHUR: Look!
BLACK KNIGHT: Just a flesh wound. [kick]
ARTHUR: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
BLACK KNIGHT: I’m invincible!
ARTHUR: You’re a looney.

I was thinking before Game Six about the dozens of curse-worthy incidents so far and how it seems by sheer force of will that at least one of them hasn’t turned into the Bucky Dent moment of 2004.

Schilling’s injury, Lowe pulled too early, Foulke brought in too early, Pedro left in too long, Mueller’s out at the plate, Manny’s error, Ortiz thrown out stealing, Damon’s awful bunt, Damon thrown out stealing, Francona leaving Varitek in to catch Wakefield and getting 3 passed balls, the initial bad calls on Bellhorn’s homer and Rodriguez’s interference, Schilling maybe pulled too early, Foulke giving up a walk to Matsui with Bernie Williams coming up as the tying run in the 9th…

In the past, any one of these would have turned into the latest lame excuse we use for not winning. Not this year. This year there’s enough curse to go around for both teams.

I’ve never believed in a curse. But I’ve also never truly believed in the Red Sox. I’ve been a fan since the age of 5, and I’ve followed them through thick and thin, but deep down I always expected them to disappoint me. They can’t do that now. It doesn’t matter what happens in Game 7. (Of course it matters. I want them to keep on winning, but if there’s a Sox fan who is disappointed after this, they should seek help immediately.)

How can you be disappointed in these guys?

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Keith Foulke is getting my laundry bill.

Someone told me he heard there was another baseball series being played. I think it’s in Japan or something…?

If my heart can stand it!