Solonor's Inkwell

Wow! That was fun. Anyone up for seeing the latest Fatty Arbuckle movie? Now all we need to do is bring our boys home from France! Over there! Over there!

Just when things were getting serious between me and the girl at the Suicide Prevention Hotline, the Sox had to go and cancel our annual date. Bastidges.

I woke up to a different world. A world where “1918” was the year we entered World War I. Not “the last time…” A world where Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player ever. Not “The Curse”. A world where I can hear the names “Bill Buckner” and “Bucky Dent” and “Aaron Boone” and just go, “Yeah, that sucked… but who’s your Papi!”

I don’t know how I’m going to handle being just another baseball fan and not a (insert eye-roll) Red Sox fan.

I do know one thing, however. I want to thank a whole bunch of baseball players for making the last 37 summers of my life the most wonderful experience a boy could have. You’ll all be splitting my therapy bill.

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One was born and raised in Boston and grew up a Sox fan. The other was a Georgia cracker who idolized Mantle and the Yankees of the 50’s but came to love the Sox.

If there’s a Heaven, those two guys have spent the last couple of weeks cursing and hollering at their celestial TV screens. FINALLY. Their team won.

The Yankees couldn’t do it, so I’m not counting chickens. There seem to be an awful lot of eggs with cracks in them right now, though!

I remember, not too long ago, when Pedro Martinez seemed like the happiest guy on the team. Granted, I only see games on tv (and not on a daily basis anymore), but it just seemed like he was always smiling and goofing. His pitching was effortless and magical.

Nowadays, every time I see him, he looks brooding and whiny. He’s gone from a so-so reliever with the Dodgers to a so-so (then suddenly brilliant) starter with the Expos and finally to the Sox. Somewhere along the way, he changed from being “Ramon’s little brother” to another ego-filled ass out for himself alone. Somehow, he went from the skinny kid who made everyone forget there ever was a Roger Clemens to the “oh not him again!” postseason disaster who decked an old man and gave the Yankees hope.

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Well, it may not be as good as turning “badger badger” into “boston boston” but there will be a wee bit of Red Sox linkage showing up at DiVERSiONZ this week…

Two wins away.

Besides the fact that the Sox have already proved that 2 (or even 3) wins does not a series winner make, the last time they won the first two games of the World Series was… 1986. And we all know how that one ended.

About to settle in for my traditional World Series watching. Once every 18 years or so, I kick everyone out of the house and watch the Red Sox play in the Fall Classic.*

Now, if I can just remember how…

In light of Game One, here is Curt Schilling’s Top Ten list from David Letterman: “Top Ten Secrets To The Boston Red Sox Comeback”

10. Unlike the first three games, we didn’t leave early to beat the traffic.
9. We put flu virus in Jeter’s gatorade.
8. Let’s just say Pete Rose made some phone calls for us.
7. We asked Pokey Reese to be a little less pokey.
6. It’s not like we haven’t won a big game before–it’s just been 86 years.
5. Honestly, I think we were tired of hearing about the Patriots.
4. The messages of encouragement Martha sent on prison napkins.
3. We pretended the baseball was Letterman’s head.
2. What’d you expect–we have a guy who looks like Jesus!
1. We got Babe Ruth’s ghost a hooker and now everything’s cool.

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Hey, I need some help here. I honestly hadn’t thought ahead far enough to know what to do with Peat’s site if I won our little bet! (To be honest, I was fully prepared to take a week off from the computer, so I wouldn’t have to look at my poor site turned into a Yankee shrine every day.)

So, what do you think? I have another entire blog at my disposal. What should I do with it?