Mission Accomplished, Assholes

Posted on March 11, 2004 by Solonor

If you ignorant terrorist bastards thought that by murdering a whole bunch of innocent people you’d get the populace to rise up, you were right.

I cannot even remotely understand the mentality of a terrorist. I understand the passion for change, the desire for independence, “down with the man”, whatever. I might even sympathize with their cause. But how in God’s name does anyone with a brain that functions well enough to stand semi-erect and not choke on their own spit think that there’s even the slightest chance in hell that blowing up the little girl next door will gain you anything but the eternal damnation you deserve for it?

Posted in Rants 'n' Whines | 8 Comments

Just for the record…

Posted on March 11, 2004 by Solonor

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Thanks. I feel better now.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 6 Comments

Nation Building in Our Back Yard

Posted on March 10, 2004 by Solonor

Since we’ve let the genie out of the bottle and no longer have a problem with forcing regime change, I think it’s time to Invade Canada.

Think of all the cool stuff (get it? “cool” stuff?) we could plunder. There’s… um… and then there’s… OK, so I’ll get back to you on that. But, still, I think it’s gotta be worth something on eBay.

Let’s do it before the Russians beat us to it!

[ via TPRS ]

Posted in Strangeness | 7 Comments

Put that out!

Posted on March 9, 2004 by Solonor

R-Rating Sought in Some Smoking Films

Two words: oy and vey.

Posted in Rants 'n' Whines | 7 Comments

Echoes of History

Posted on March 9, 2004 by Solonor

NPR : Walter Cronkite

Fifty years ago today, one of the most influential news programs in television history aired. It was on CBS-TV, and produced by Fred Friendly and Edward R. Murrow. Part of the series See It Now, hosted by Murrow, it was a report on Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy and his campaign to root out “unpatriotic” Americans. Former CBS-TV anchor and commentator Walter Cronkite remembers the occasion as the night network television shook off its timidity and called the bluff of a bully.

I put a lot of links to the history of McCarthyism in an earlier post. Waste not, want not!

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 2 Comments

I’m in the corollary zone!

Posted on March 9, 2004 by Solonor

Other kids’ games are all such a bore!
They’ve gotta have rules and they gotta keep score!
Calvinball is better by far!
It’s never the same! It’s always bizarre!
You don’t need a team or a referee!
You know that it’s great ’cause it’s named after me!

Aw, fergit baseball. Ta heck with basketball. It’s Calvinball that rulez.

[ via Nef ]

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | Comments Off on I’m in the corollary zone!

Something else from MegaCon

Posted on March 8, 2004 by Solonor

When wandering around trying to figure out when Whiny would emerge, V suggested that I go in and ask if anyone had seen a skinny, geeky looking kid with glasses, wearing all black…

You’ll get it eventually.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 5 Comments

Words of Wisdom

Posted on March 8, 2004 by Solonor

“As my pappy would say, no use crying over spilled milk, it could have been whiskey.” – Maverick

True enlightenment comes from television, grasshopper.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 1 Comment

Three Rules

Posted on March 7, 2004 by Solonor

This is the last Sunday Sermon I’ll do.

I started out just intending to remind myself of what I thought I’d learned in church on Sunday… whether it was the meaning of life or just some stupid joke that somebody told. Instead I find myself writing these nasty, scripture-filled pieces of sanctimonious crap. While I’m trying to figure out my own spiritual truths, I’m making my friends squirm in their seats–dying to raise their hands in protest, yet too nice to want to offend me. (As someone with a terribly fragile ego, I thank you.)

I don’t have any answers. I don’t know why God does what He does. I don’t know why things happen the way they happen. I know what I believe, but even that is subject to change on a daily hourly basis.

I only cling to these rules (human Laws of Robotics, I guess):

1. Always remember that someone, somewhere loves you.

2. Whatever you do, try not to hurt yourself or anyone else.

3. Help someone else out, if you can–no matter how insignificant it seems.

Tomorrow, I may wake up Buddhist. I may be a pagan or an atheist. But to my mind those are the only ones that count. The rest is just bullshit.

Posted in Sunday Sermon | 20 Comments

Oh, the jet-set life!

Posted on March 6, 2004 by Solonor

Today was one of those days that, if you were to follow us around, you would finally realize what swinging, uber-cool folk we be. Yeah.

5:30 AM – Got up and cursed at the alarm clock for setting itself to a weekday wake-up time on a Saturday. Stupid machine.

5:32 AM – Remembered that Pepperkat wanted an early wake-up call, so she could get ready for MegaCon.

5:33 AM – Set alarm for 7 AM, cursing Pepperkat for not setting her own fricking alarm. What am I? A fricking hotel concierge?

7:00 AM – First attempt at waking daughter. Made coffee. Fell asleep in front of PC, checking e-mail.

8:00 AM – Second attempt at waking daughter. Poured coffee. Forgot to drink it. Fell asleep in front of PC, reading blogs.

9:00 AM – Downloaded ABBA Gold and Best of Bread in order to satisfy terms of Satanic contract.

9:15 AM – Watched Spongebob Squarepants for no apparent reason.

9:30 AM – Gave Whiny all my money and drove him to MegaCon.

10:30 AM – Realized that there was no way in hell to get near the Orange County Convention Center when they are hosting MegaCon, the U.S. Open Cheerleading Championships, a meeting of the American Association of Ambulatory Surgery, and the LifeWay Christian Women’s convention at the same time.

10:35 AM – Pushed Whiny out of the car and told him to run for it.

11:00 AM – Went to Downtown Disney West Side. Looked at guitars in George’s Music. Wandered around Virgin Megastore.

11:20 AM – Got hungry and left.

12:00 PM – Had lunch in Mall at Millenia.

1:30 PM – Wandered around mall. Played with stuff at Williams-Sonoma. Got coffee and sat around making fashion judgements about passersby.

3:30 PM – Drove around aimlessly. Studied end of Handel’s Messiah for future choir performance. Drove around more aimlessly than ever.

5:30 PM – Made first call to Whiny to see about picking him up. Got static-filled reply along the lines of “bzzztt…not done….bzzzttt….halfway mark…bzzzttt…call you….”.

5:31 PM – Drove around aimlessly.

6:00 PM – Made 35 unanswered calls to Whiny’s cell phone. Grew frustrated. Tried to find a place to park at Peabody Hotel.

7:30 PM – Gave up trying to find a place to park. Made solemn vow never to visit this part of Orlando ever again. Ever.

8:00 PM – Whiny emerged from Convention Center, shocked to learn that anyone was calling him. Decided to let him ride home after all.

8:30 PM – Found a Cracker Barrel for supper. Had breakfast instead.

10:00 PM – Made it home to find hungry cats ready to kill us.

11:00 PM – Finished boring blog entry about exciting day.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 3 Comments