Everybody sing!
You live in a zoo.
You act like a monkey.
And you smell like one tooooooooooo!
Note to family: I am not begging for this album for my prezzie. I am groveling. Get it right.
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Party Like It’s 1899!
You live in a zoo.
You act like a monkey.
And you smell like one tooooooooooo!
Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything
35 Comments
I Laughed, I Cried, My Head Spun Around Until I Spewed
I kinda went overboard with my projects and signing up for other ones.
No! Not you!
Shut up. You know that I’m ADD with a capital D…and, um, A.
Is that why you spend four hours searching through links about Automats and KFC Employee Training Tapes instead of finishing your damn novel?
Well, I don’t ever finish stuff, but I never give up!
Yeah, yeah. You’re a real tenacious dude.
I’ve just got too much crap I’m interested in!
Uh, huh.
The problem is that I wind up spending way too much time on one thing and forget to do the others.
So, don’t just sit there and whine about it (though it’s what you’re best at). What are ya gonna do about it, bunky?
Well, jerkazoid, today I spent a couple of hours listing all the stuff that I have to do, ought to do, and want to do and put them on a calendar.
A couple of HOURS?
Um, yeah. Anyway, I think I’ve got a handle on it now. I really do.
We’ll see…
One of the things I neglected was Otis Fodder. I started out intending to download each MP3 he put up, but I haven’t done it since February.
Oh, God, not that stupid MP3-a-day thing! Isn’t that the guy with the records like Myron Floren Disco Accordian and some preacher showing off Satanic messages when you play Stairway to Heaven backwards?
Yeah! I love that stuff. I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up and listening to them.
OK, now I know what that horrible wailing noise was. I thought Wing was back.
Aw, c’mon, it’s really cool. Where else are you gonna hear a band trying to explain Karl Marx and the worst version of Eres Tu ever?
Well, I did like that How to Pick Up Girls thing… But how did you listen to all that without going over the edge?
Didn’t bother me, because I like cheese.
Posted in Strangeness
Comments Off on I Laughed, I Cried, My Head Spun Around Until I Spewed
There’s antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium…
If Tom Lehrer’s song The Elements couldn’t help you remember them all, check out The Periodic Table of Comic Books.
The brainchild of a couple of University of Kentucky chemistry professors, each element in the table is a link to Gold and Silver Age comic pages that mention it. Of course since they’re all the real elements, there is Krypton (not Kryptonite), but no Adamantium.
[ As seen at Four Color Hell. Thanks for letting me mess up your project, Michele! ]
Posted in Wouldya Lookit That!
2 Comments
SGCBL: More Addictive Than Crack
Posted in the forum (I added the hyperlinks):
This stupid game has taken over my life! I even downloaded and installed OpenOffice just so I’d have a spreadsheet (which I had to LEARN) with which to keep track of everything about my team! I spend WAAAAAAY too much time on this STUPID GAME!
And I WARNED you beforehand NOT to do this! I KNEW this would happen! I’M ADDICTED TO STATISTICAL BASEBALL GAMES! I’M ADDICTED TO BASEBALL STATS! I’M ADDICTED TO BASEBALL HISTORY!
YOU, YOU- STATISTICAL BASEBALL GAME PUSHER! Getting your thrills by tormenting STATISTICAL BASEBALL GAME JUNKIES!
HAVE YOU NO SHAME? HAVE YOU NO DECENCY? HAVE YOU NO COMPASSION FOR THE MENTALLY WEAK AND UNSTABLE?
Oh- I can’t continue. I have to get back to going thru the Free Agents. Again. For the 37th time. In the last two weeks. I might find someone I (and everyone else) may have overlooked!
…
::: whining pitifully ::: I want my life back!
Mwahahaha… zee plan is working purrrrrfectly…
Posted in Baseball
4 Comments
But who will I have to talk to?
The day of freedom is upon us. Today you can officially start signing up for the National Do Not Call Registry.
It might not be perfect. Heck, it might not even work at all. But hopefully after October 1st I won’t have to rush to the phone just to wind up telling a poor person with a crappy job just how much I loathe their very existence. Nothing personal.
UPDATE: They ask for your e-mail address for confirmation. Apparently you can’t use a “throwaway” one, since it didn’t like my Juno addy.
UPDATE UPDATE: It did finally show up about 12 hours later.
Posted in Wouldya Lookit That!
6 Comments
An Unwogable Apocalypse
This week’s tour stop on the Aortal trip through my blogroll (ewwww…sounds like a nasty medical procedure) is Zuly’s Zu!
I won’t reveal her real name (which I love), but Zuly is a queen among women. She rules. She is a Ruler Extraordinaire of Grand Intellignence and Noble Air.
Posted in Aortal
3 Comments
It’s All Bush’s Fault
All you lefties out there, take heed. If you want to get the goods on President Bush, look no further than CBN: The Christian Broadcasting Network. Pat Robertson’s crew has done an excellent job of proving that Bush is behind all the weather catastrophes we’ve been having lately.
That’s right. Just mention the “Roadmap to Peace” and a twister will be knocking on your door within hours. If I quoted all the good bits, I’d wind up re-printing the whole darn thing, so here’s a sample:
May 9th, 2003, President Bush addressed students at the University of South Carolina. Bush called on the Palestinians to embrace the road to peace, and see the flag of Palestine raised over a free nation.
Hours later, tornadoes returned and Oklahoma City again became the bulls-eye for deadly twisters, reducing what was left of businesses and homes to splinters and bricks. The tornadoes of May devastated the Midwest with the third worst property damage in American history.
And you can blame him for all the rain, too!
On the East Coast there have been less than 10 rainless weekends the entire year. And in the West, certain crop-eating pests are having their best year in six decades amid dry conditions.
Posted in Carnival of the Vanities, Rants 'n' Whines
6 Comments
Telly…
I’m sure it will come as no surprise to you that my mouth likes to remain engaged for quite some time after my brain has pulled the plug. Fortunately, the incoherent ramblings that I am prone to spew in the last moments before I fall asleep have, thus far, not come back to haunt me. (I do wonder why the wife has a crate full of audio cassettes in the closet, though.)
What is really special is when I say something so incredibly strange that I wake myself up at the sound…
One time early in our relationship, the Mrs and I were upstairs at her mother’s house cleaning out a spare bedroom. Eventually, we laid down on the floor to rest (no furniture) and started blabbering on about this and that. I, of course, was being my most witty and charming (i.e., arrogant and annoying) self, when I started to drift off. Blah blah blah bladdy blah you know they’re coming back in fashion blah blah blah…
Then, it happened. I said: “Yeah, you know… it’s like Telly Savalas and all that undercover night cop stuff…”
I immediately sat bolt upright, shook my head like a cartoon character that had just been rolled over by a steamroller and needed to reinflate himself, and said, “Whaaaaaat the hell did I just say?” (Meanwhile, the witnessing party was laughing her fool head off.)
Ever since that day, when someone says something completely ridiculous and off-topic, it’s a “Telly”.
Which brings me to the reason for this little ramble.
We have been having meetings in the office lately. Lots of meetings. Lots of long meetings. Lots of long meetings with one 10 minute break in four hours. Lots of long meetings with one 10 minute break in four hours after I’ve stayed up until 2am blogging. So, needless to say, when I was asked to read a really boring passage from a requirements document for one of the applications we’re creating, I was not exactly focused on the task at hand. In fact, I fell asleep.
But that’s not the best part.
The best part is that I was reading the document out loud to the rest of the meeting participants! I looked at a column at the top of a table on page 236 and said something like, “You see that A right here next to column B indicates they’re little buddies.”
I woke myself up with it. There was stunned silence. And I kept reading.
E-mail problems
I am not getting about 1/4 of my e-mails at solonor.com, I just know it. For one thing, I see comments here that I never got a notice on. Plus, I got an e-mail from a friend this morning pointing out that I’d missed important information that should have been in an e-mail yesterday. And I know I’ve sent out comments or e-mails that certain people usually wouldn’t ignore, yet have heard zip (If I piss people off I hope they’ll tell me and not just ignore me).
So, if you’ve sent something to solonor.com in the past couple of days, either send it to my Roadrunner address (if you don’t know it, ask for it…the worst I’ll say is “Bite me!”) or leave a comment here.
-The Management
Posted in Yo! Listen Up!
1 Comment
Harry Potter <> Devil Worship
Simon (of the big sort) has written an excellent essay called Harry Potter: A Christian’s Viewpoint.
Yes, I am a Christian, but I’m a bad Christian.
I don’t profess my faith every minute. I do silly things like “[insert deity here]” to avoid offending non-Christian (or non-believing) friends. I take faith tests and come out Jewish…
On Sunday, we finally got around to joining the church at which we’ve been singing in choir since January (and attending ever since running away from the dictatorial pastor of our last church). Did I forget to tell you I was an elected Presbyterian elder and quit? Oh, yeah, I’m a bad Christian.
I don’t really think so, actually. I’m just not a very good “standard” Christian. I can’t stand to evangelize. I can’t stand to despise those who don’t feel the same way I do. Instead, I believe in what Jesus said, did, and stands for. It’s the sometimes strange interpretations of His word by other humans that I don’t like.
Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything
7 Comments