Dirty Little Monkey

Posted on May 17, 2003 by Solonor

My son is a bit… odd. He gets it from his mother (obviously). So, one of the things he’s been doing lately is carrying around this little stuffed monkey. He keeps it tucked into the pocket of his black jeans. These go with his black shirt and his black fingernails. Don’t comment on his new goth look, though, or you’ll get an earfull. (“I’m not GOTH, geez…I just like black.”)

Anyway, we went to see the Matrix Friday night. As we waited in the lobby for Mrs. Rasreth to return, we had the following conversation. I’m still wondering why we weren’t kicked out…

WHINY: Have you seen my dirty little monkey?
ME: Um, no.
WHINY: It was in my pants.
ME: Shhh… *giggle*
WHINY: I need my dirty little monkey! Why was he taken from me?
PEPPERKAT: *chuckle*
WHINY: I like to play with my dirty little monkey.
ME: *snort*
PEPPERKAT: He’s only *this* big…
ME: (face turning red, stifling laughter)
WHINY: He is small, but size doesn’t matter. I have fun with him. He’s soft and furry.
ME: (dying)
WHINY: The last time I saw him, he was with the cats…
ME: *wheeze* Oh my God! Don’t even go there…
WHINY: Maybe I should ask these people if they’ve seen my dirty little monkey…
ME: Thank God, here comes your mother.

There was a lot more, I believe. I can’t remember much once the spasms of laughter hit our juvenile party. Beavis and Butthead would have been proud.

Thankfully, this story has a happy ending, because…

Continue reading →

Posted in Carnival of the Vanities, Life, the Universe and Everything | 20 Comments

The Matrix, Part Deux

Posted on May 17, 2003 by Solonor

WARNING: Spoiler-ish content ahead!

Well, it didn’t suck.

I just didn’t like it as much as the first one. Of course, with the first one I didn’t have someone practically screaming into their cell phone during a key scene…

The story of Neo trying to figure out what the hell was going on while evil robots menaced his friends was compelling enough in the first chapter. In this one, we already know he’s The One. And when you know he’s invulnerable(ish), it loses a little of its edge. Of course, it’s the middle piece of the story arc. Lotsa setup and exposition. But it seemed like an hour before any action got started (but what action!). Then it was over.

I’m not going to see it three times, like X2, but it was definitely worth the money. I can’t wait for the third one and then to see them all together.

Psst! Unless you are really in the mood to sit through some loud, headbanging credits for an eternity in order to see a 30-second preview of the next chapter, don’t bother. That’s why God created the Internet.

Posted in Blogcritics, The Big Screen | 12 Comments

Reload Me

Posted on May 16, 2003 by Solonor

9:45pm. I fall into the Matrix. Cannot wait.

Posted in The Big Screen | 1 Comment

Google Me This, Batman!

Posted on May 16, 2003 by Solonor

Boo-ya! I bet I’m single-handedly messing up half the search statistics on the Internet with my bizarre ramblings alone.

Wired News: Search Results Clogged by Blogs

[ via Dragonleg ]
Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 1 Comment

Masochism Tango

Posted on May 16, 2003 by Solonor

I thought I’d finally weened you off reading this thing. What’s it going to take to make you get over this FREAKISH OBSESSION? You are a sad, sad person who repeatedly comes back to read the online diary of an unemployed failed electronics engineer whose last job but one was cleaning toilets.

I love it when someone understands me so completely. Be careful when you go there, though. She bites.

Solonor’s Aortal Site of the Week: “dog carcass in alley this morning…”.

I am so dead.
Posted in Aortal | Comments Off on Masochism Tango

Two Towers DVD

Posted on May 16, 2003 by Solonor

Looks like the Aug 26 Lord of the Rings: Two Towers DVD will have some cool features, including a 10-minute preview of “Return of the King.”

I’m still waiting for the super-deluxe set in November, though.

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 9 Comments

Stop Making Sense

Posted on May 15, 2003 by Solonor

Yes, it does remind me a bit of someone trying to justify our actions by claiming “we wuz snookered!” But Jim Lacey’s explanation of why we haven’t found WMD in Iraq sounds way more plausible than, “That uneducated bastard Saddam sure knew how to hide stuff, didn’t he?”

[ via On the Third Hand ]
Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 4 Comments

He’s Outta Control

Posted on May 15, 2003 by Solonor

Will someone, please, for pity’s sake put something in the Tagboard so Ric won’t think he’s got it all to himself. He’s gone all Dr. Evil on us.

Posted in Strangeness | 1 Comment

Holy Ship!

Posted on May 15, 2003 by Solonor

Jeff Russell’s STARSHIP DIMENSIONS

Oh. My. Can hardly type. Having a geek-a-rama seizure.

OOOH! I just found out you can drag them around like paper dolls. Sweeeet.

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 1 Comment

I’d Rather You’d Hate Me

Posted on May 15, 2003 by Solonor

Ever since the Banned Books Project, about once a month I get an e-mail that goes something like this:

You fucking moron! How can you sit there all smug and self-righteous and advocate banning books? Just because you have a bug up your ass about a book, it doesn’t mean you have the right to keep me from reading it. Just crawl back into the right-wing, Bible-thumping hole you crawled out of, you slimy bastard!

Most of them are nice like that. It’s good to know that people still have passion about things. I almost hate calling them illiterate jerks who wouldn’t know sarcasm if it ran around naked and screaming, “Look at me! I’m sarcasm!”

But today I got one that was a bit more disturbing. I think I can handle people taking my silly comments seriously when they’re not quite so happy about it:

I’m happy to have found this site! Any thoughts on Angela’s Ashes? It seems that I am fighting this battle alone and I’d like some information, if possible. I don’t want my sophomore son reading this as a required assignment this summer. Thank you and God Bless you.

Not daring to believe that this person was serious, I replied: “Why don’t you want your son reading Angela’s Ashes?”

I don’t care for the premarital sex, adultery, masturbation, contraception, alcohol abuse, profanity, anti-religious theme, and I think that covers it. I feel it is more appropriate for a more mature audience, perhaps college age.

My wife stopped me from sending the reply I wrote, so I’ll just put it here instead.

“Right on! I won’t let my kids read the Bible either! It will still be there for them when they’re 18 (if they make it that far). Keep up the good work.”

Posted in Banned Books | 18 Comments