Strange trackback from someone called WE ARE HUGH. It really takes the concept of being a weblog back to basics.
We are aware that the page layout of WE ARE HUGH is sparse. After five years of keeping up with the latest and greatest acronyms, buzzwords, and change-the-world trends on the web, we are happy to have finally found a design that looks the same in all browsers.
Simplicity. I like it.
There is only one place where you can get wonderful trivia like It’s a Fact! with Donald Fact and the true story of what happened to several movie monsters after their careers were over. (Not to mention scientific reports on global moistening and the subatomic source of humor.) Yes, this place even makes me look sane.
League Rocked By Charges Of Nepotism
MIDDLE EARTH – Officials in the SGCBL were shocked by allegations made by several team owners in the wake of this week’s games. Though early in the season, at least two teams are threatening legal action against the league and its commissioner, Solonor Rasreth.
MESN has learned that owners of both the Bree Cheese and the Mirkwood Marauders have been in contact with league officials to express concern over the apparent nepotism in the current league standings.
“Just look,” said Cheese GM and owner, Sgt. Grump. “First place in the Hobbit Division? Wilderland (Solonor’s son). First place in the Orc Division? Dunharrow (Solonor’s brother). First place in the Troll Division? Isengard (Solonor’s own team!). It’s not fair!”
More damning evidence came in the form of a mysterious audio tape delivered to MESN studios by an anonymous source. The tape, which sounds like one half of a phone conversation, contains the voice of someone – quite possibly Solonor – speaking to an unknown person. A partial transcript follows:
[garbled] … according to plan. All we have to do is [garbled] by next season. Look! I’ve even got my separated-at-birth twin in first for crying out loud. One Spork Sistah is in first and one is only two games out, and Zuly my [garbled] just one back. Mwahahahaha…
In a strongly worded statement, league officials denounced the accusations as “baseless” and “sour grapes”. Mr. Rasreth could not be reached for comment.
You remember that old joke: If Microsoft Built Cars…
Car traps official when computer fails and, yes, it was Windows.
Who’s laughing now, funny guy?
Oh, Lord, I hardly have the energy… Lobby group slams ‘anti-Islamic propaganda’ of X-Men 2.
Remember that 20-questions-like thing a while back? You know where you’d think of an object and the site would ask yes/no questions until it guessed it? Hold on a sec while I dig through the basement… [many loud and seemingly unrelated construction noises that always includes a jackhammer and a cat] … Ha! Here it is. Crap. That site’s down. Ah well. Where was I? Oh yeah!
If you want to try a sillier version of that, give Guess the Dictator or Sit-Com Character a shot.
(Someday I will learn how to just put up a link without all the goofy exposition.)
Happy Mother’s Day!
We decided to lay our woefully unworthy gifts at the feet of the one, true goddess early. So, yesterday, we did the things she wanted to do.
Pepperkat and I took her to afternoon tea, followed by a long drive in the country. After that, we spent some gift certificates I got during Employee Appreciation Week on a third viewing of X2. Whiny (who spent the day in a photobooth at the mall from all accounts) returned home bearing a Nat “King” Cole CD for her. Today, I’m off to buy her a staple gun that also does brads. What more could a woman want?
During the drive, our daughter demonstrated that she has, indeed, inherited her mother’s literalism disease. We passed a sign on the side of one of those tiny advertising log cabins (you do have those where you live, right?) that said: “Complete Wedding Services.” To which our backseat passenger – completely straightfaced – asked, “How do you have an incomplete wedding?”
This, of course, was followed by: “How can you do a non-stop flight from Sanford to Cincinnati?”
Which all reminded mother of her favorite literalist joke:
Once, an extremely literal man needed to use the bathroom in his office building. But when he got there, a sign said, “Bathroom out of order. Please use floor below.”
Make your own signs at the SAFETY SIGN BUILDER.
BREE – Sacrificing for the sake of the team is nothing new in baseball. In fact, the sac bunt and the sac fly are common plays. But, if the string of injured Cheese continues, team owner Sgt. Grump is thinking more literally. In this thread in the SGCBL Owners Forum, the leader of the Bree Cheese tosses out the possibility that someone may have put a curse on his team, and that the only way to lift it is to sacrifice a player.
“As far as I can see in the League Rules,” Grump said, “there is no prohibition against sacrificing a player to the injury gods in order to stop this plague of injuries to my key players.”
Scott Baron, owner of the Hops (himself a victim of an inexplicably poor start), agrees: “I was going to suggest sacrifices, too — Orebreaker would have been one when he was on the Hops.”
Other team owners were quick to deny the accusation of using illegal curses to win games.
Bywater: “I would like to strenuously deny any connection between Mr. Orebreakers injury and the fact that it occured in the second straight game where you beat my magnificent Bounders. Obviously if anyone was using magic during that match up it was not us!”
Lonely Mountain: “We’re a bunch of dwarves! Were you dealing with a team of those hapless elves, your accusation may be worth it’s weight in gold. Dwarves play fair and square. A dwarf would never seek to win a game by any means other than his mighty strength. Which is precisely what your sniveling team is afraid of.”
Wilderland: “How dare someone insinuate that we’ve been using curses. Go ahead and sacrifice people if you want, maybe it’ll work. By the way, I’m out of tooth of monkey. Could I borrow some?”
Meanwhile league officials are strongly discouraging the use of sacrifices as a means to breaking out of a slump. Commissioner Rasreth added, “We are investigating all charges. I want to make sure there’s no damned cursing in this league!”
If you’re going to Gnomedex, why not jump on the GnomeRoll! All the cool kids are doing it…
