Kids these days. Wotta buncha wimps.
OK, well, maybe it’s not the kids so much as their do-gooder, paranoid parents. Just because some toys happen to wind up on the CSPC list of Toy Hazard Recalls, they think they’ve got to “protect” the children from “choking hazards” and “serious injuries” and “death”.
Puh-leeze. What’s childhood if not Darwin’s proving ground? And how is a kid supposed to learn that lead paint is toxic, magnets taste bad (and cause intestinal perforations when swallowed), and that you should never choke on a Lego without first making sure at least one of your playmates has completed a Red Cross CPR course?
Back in my day, most states required by law that at least one child per neighborhood owned one or more of the toys on this list of the Ten Most Dangerous Playthings of All Time. How many did you own, good citizen?
1. Lawn Darts – definitely!
2. Atomic Energy Lab – I wish. Though I did have a chemistry set with lots of toxic elements.
3. Mini-Hammock – Not in Maine. We had the mini-Haddock (uh-haaa).
4. Snacktime Cabbage Patch Doll – uh, no.
5. Sky Dancers – Not me, personally, but between those and the various rip-cord helicopters and other pieces of plastic, spinning death, we had the sky covered.
6. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun – OMG! That would have ruled!
7. Creepy Crawlers – Oh yes. And a hot plastic injector set where you could make your own army men (and get 3rd degree burns)! Fun times.
8. Johnny Reb Cannon – Holy crap! I want one now!!
9. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher – Meh. There were plenty of toys you could shoot your eye out with, kid.
10. Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle – There was a Power Wheels that had a real engine?? Awesome!
[ via Kat ]
