*ring*
MRS: Hello?
BOB: Hi. What are you doing?
MRS: Uhhh… not much…
BOB: Did you get my message?
MRS: Huh? Oh! It’s you, Bob. I thought it was some sex chat line or something.
BOB: Oh? So, you’re saying my voice is sexy?
MRS: Pepperkat isn’t here, Bob…
BOB: Mrs N?? Ahhh!
As previously reported, I hate yard work. Hate. It.
It’s not just the work part, either. I hate the outdoors. I hate the sun. I hate the plants. I hate the bugs. I hate every blessed one of God’s creatures, great and small. The Vogon contruction fleet can’t show up fast enough for me. The next time I hear that fricking “paved paradise and put up a parking lot” song, I’m shooting my radio.
So, how’s your Saturday?
Even when your teeth fall out
Even when you cannot see
Even when you have to shout
To hear the crazy shit you say to me
Posting every day is for LOSERS! So there!
*crawls back into his video games*
Not being a follower of all things Catholic, I missed out on Cardinal Biffi’s proclamation that the antichrist is walking among us. Among other things, Biffi said that he is a vegetarian who preaches the virtues of “pacifism, environmentalism and animal rights.”
With some small chance that Biffi might be the next Pope, Michele thought it prudent to speculate on the identity of said antichrist.
I think it is patently obvious.
WHINY (seeing the freshly cooked bird on the kitchen counter): Mmmm… I thought I smelled chicken.
ME & MRS (at once): It’s turkey!
WHINY: Mmmm… I thought I smelled fowl.
ME & MRS (at once): Yes, you do.
It must be rough living in this family, don’tcha think?
The Clown™ celebrates its 50th Anniversary today. Well, not the clown himself (he’s only 42), but it was 50 years ago that Ray Kroc opened up the first McDonald’s in Des Plaines, Illinois.
I was one of the troops from 1981-1986 (along with Ric the Schmuck). The Mrs. did her tour of duty just a few years ago. To mangle Dickens: “It was the best of jobs. It was the worst of jobs.” Everyone should be required to work there. Seriously.
For one thing, there is nothing that will teach you coping skills like having to run grill by yourself during a bus. Any organizational abilities I have came from doing a thousand things at once whilst wearing orange-brown pajamas and a paper hat.
For another, there is nothing that will make you appreciate your current job like a few years of being treated (and paid) like the lowest life form in the universe and being reminded every single day that there are a million teenagers ready to take your place.
This may be the bestest comment game I’ve ever seen: Michele Agnew: One Degree of Separation
How to Play:
The first person chooses an actor. The next person must choose a film that has that actor in it. The following person chooses a different actor that was in the same film. Next person chooses another actor from the above film.
So, actor, movie, actor, movie, actor….
First actor: Danny Kaye
Maurice Hilleman, Master in Creating Vaccines, Dies at 85
The Man Who Saved Your Life – Maurice R. Hilleman – Developer of Vaccines for Mumps and Pandemic Flu
The names Jenner, Pasteur, Salk and Sabin are likely to register with people. Not Hilleman. Even though he is the godfather of the modern vaccine era. Even though he has, in a career that has spanned six decades, developed nearly three dozen vaccines – more than any other scientist.Even though it is no exaggeration to assert, as many leading scientists do, that Maurice Hilleman has saved more lives than any other living scientist.
His credits include not only the preventive vaccine for mumps, but also vaccines for measles, rubella (German measles), chickenpox, bacterial meningitis, flu and hepatitis B. Every time an American mother takes her child to the doctor for a well-baby checkup, she likely encounters the fruits of Hilleman’s labor – vaccines that have put an end to longtime scourges of American childhood.
Many of the diseases that Hilleman’s vaccines helped bring under control have been all but forgotten by a well-immunized generation of Americans. But not that long ago in this country, these diseases not only kept children home from school, they also sent them to the hospital and even the cemetery. Today Hilleman’s measles vaccine alone prevents an estimated one million deaths around the globe every year.
[ via Linkmeister ]
Apples.
While they are advertised as being good for you, they will not, in fact, “keep the doctor away” if you try putting them into your lungs.
So, remember kiddies, never attempt to drive down the road whilst eating an apple. You never know when you’ll get the urge to sing. (Or at least finish chewing before you start belting out the tunes, ok?)
*cough*
*hack*
*spew*
