Please Refrain

We’re tired of seeing these so-called computer geeks get away with offensive behavior. That’s why we applaud the County of Los Angeles, as they crack down on hardware vendors. In the latest move in the War on Remotely Offensive Language™, they have outlawed the term Master/Slave for hardware.

It’s about time.

We at Solonor.com hope that this will be carried to its logical conclusion, and that the following terms will also be outlawed:

  • “burn in” – misleading, as no fire is involved, causing pyromaniacs to become disappointed and possibly depressed
  • “chip” – misleading, as no salty snack is involved; may lead people to attempt to consume
  • “server” – demeaning to computers; replace with “Computer or application designed to supply access to legally shared electronic files, as defined by the RIAA”
  • “UPS” – copyright infringement claimed by United Parcel Service
  • “customer support” – misleading; may lead to depression and suicide for both parties involved
  • “RAM”, “Hard Drive”, “Floppy” – sexually suggestive

Thank you for your help. Together, we can make sure that not a single person on this planet will ever have the opportunity to be offended again.

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Posted in Carnival of the Vanities, Rants 'n' Whines | 10 Comments

So Long to “The Invincible One”

The winningest lefty ever, Warren Spahn died Monday. Between 1946 and 1964, he won 20 games 13 times for the Braves of Boston and Milwaukee (6 in a row) and had 2 no-hitters. What makes it more impressive is the fact that he is one of those guys that missed several years while he was fighting (and earning medals) in World War II. But he didn’t cry about it…

After what I went through overseas, I never thought of anything I was told to do in baseball as hard work. You get over feeling like that when you spend days on end sleeping in frozen tank tracks in enemy threatened territory. The Army taught me something about challenges and about what’s important and what isn’t. Everything I tackle in baseball and in life I take as a challenge rather than work.

I found the origin of the famous phrase, “Spahn and Sain and pray for rain” at Baseball Almanac:

First we’ll use Spahn.
Then we’ll use Sain.
Then an off day,
Followed by rain.
Back will come Spahn,
Followed by Sain,
And followed,
We hope,
By two days of rain.

Posted in Baseball | 1 Comment

Searching for What’s Missing

In the latest trip to Free Preview Land, our clan went to see Ron Howard’s The Missing last night. It turned out to be something that you don’t often see these days–a straightforward Western. In fact, if you were to strap the movie into your time machine and ship it back to the 1960’s, no one would think it out of place. It’s got all the right conventions and very few surprises. If you can’t shake the feeling that you’ve seen it before, you’re probably remembering John Ford’s The Searchers. Having spent some time with John Wayne on the set of The Shootist, Howard apparently couldn’t help but put the spirit of True Grit and Rooster Cogburn into this film.

That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy it. It’s not the greatest movie ever, but it’s certainly not the worst. Cate Blanchett is excellent as the mother of a girl who’s been kidnapped by renegade Indians. Tommy Lee Jones plays her runaway father with his usual tough-guy-with-a-heart-of-gold appeal. And the youngest daughter, Dot (Jenna Boyd), is played so well that when they ride off to track down her sister, it’s actually believable that she’d come along. Thankfully, you’re not left with either the “awww, isn’t that cute” or “let’s see how often a little kid can slow us down and get us into trouble” feeling (a nice trick, since that’s what happens). In fact, considering Howard’s stature in Hollywood and the talent of the actors, I wouldn’t be totally shocked if one of them gets an Oscar nomination.

In the end, it’s just one of those pretty good, standard Westerns that you’re likely to see on TNT or TBS some Saturday afternoon. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Posted in Blogcritics, The Big Screen | 1 Comment

Apple Schmear?

Wow! This is a great commercial, highlighting what the creators call iPod’s Dirty Secret . What is it? The fact that the battery doesn’t last forever and has to be sent in to Apple to be replaced. And it’s kinda true. IF you send your iPod back to Apple and it is out-of-warranty, they will charge you a ton of money to fix it (AppleCare Repair Service). That’s where they get the audio for the tech support call in the video. But, as wKen points out, there are plenty of ways to get a new battery for a lot cheaper, including instructions for replacing it yourself. So, I think this is a bit over-the-top. In fact…*sniff*…yep, I can almost smell the cease-and-desist order already.

Posted in Strangeness | Comments Off on Apple Schmear?

Flushing It Down the Tubes

What a waste. When Vivendi sold its rights to MP3.com to CNET, it didn’t include the massive archive of songs. So, being the smart corporate mongoloids that they are, Vivendi will just erase the MP3.com archives.

Posted in Rants 'n' Whines | 2 Comments

Faster Than A Laden One!

I’ve seen this all over the place (or at least all the geeky places I hang around), but I needed to post it, too, for posterity. Someone has undertaken the task of Google Answers, The Swallow Question), but ’tis a cool site, nonetheless.

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 1 Comment

Spreading Yuletide Cheer

A Small Victory: the return ho ho holy shit!

Yes, kids, it’s time for old Rudolph to fire up his blog again.

What? It’s Santa’s blog? Screw that noise! Where’s my agent? Tell her to stop planning Michael Jackson’s come-back tour and get her ass over here, or I’m gonna find someone who’ll work for a living!!

In case you missed it, here’s a list of some of the depraved characters from last year. It was sick, sad and sordid. I loved it. (Don’t bother clicking on the links in that post. They’re all dead. The links, not the people, ya goob.) I’ll try to remember who was who for you, beyond Rudolph, Yukon Cornelius and Bubba (schizophrenia? yes, have some).

Posted in Strangeness | 1 Comment

I Feel Pretty…

In this family, it’s inevitable that something fun done once becomes a tradition. One year on Christmas Eve after church, we were all starving, because we’d skipped dinner. So, we stopped at the only thing open at 9pm on Christmas Eve–a convenience store. We then drove around town eating our classy (and nutritious) dinner of corn chips, Chex Mix, mini donuts and soda, looking at Christmas lights. Of course, that’s our Christmas Eve tradition now. (I thought the kids would cry when we thought about skipping it last year!)

So, since we had so much fun for Pepperkat’s birthday last year, the tradition continued tonight. There were slight differences in the movie (the R-rated Love Actually, rather than the PG-rated Harry Potter), dinner (Bennigans, instead of Steak and Shake) and the music (West Side Story, instead of Queen). But it was still goofy fun, winding up with chocolate fondue.

It’s amazing how “just turning 14” is so different from “just turning 13”. But there was one thing I could have guaranteed to have remained constant. And it did. They still licked the plates clean. Not a spot of chocolate left. I don’t think that will change even when she’s “just turning 30”. At least I hope not.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 3 Comments

Happy Birthday Pepperkat!

Happy 14th Birthday to the smartest, funniest, coolest daughter a guy could ever have!!!

Posted in Yo! Listen Up! | 10 Comments

Let It Be Reborn

I can’t believe it. Me. The biggest Beatle fan this side of Liverpool, and I totally missed the release of Let It Be… Naked. After reading an article about the album in The Observer, I really can’t wait to get my hands on it.

Let It Be (the original) is not my favorite Beatle album. Most of it sounds like filler crap, and the rest was buried under Phil Spector’s “Wall of Sound”. But after seeing the movie and hearing Paul McCartney’s beautiful piano work on “The Long and Winding Road”, I always wanted to have that version.

I realize that there are many who won’t appreciate the album. Non-Beatle fans say “it’s too short”; non-McCartney fans think he’s just finally getting his way because Lennon and Harrison are dead; and others just don’t want the original touched. But I’m not one of them. I’ve been waiting to hear this one song done properly for years. It still might not be right, but with a stripped-down “Let It Be” and “Across the Universe” thrown into the mix, it’s Must-Hear-CD (for me at least).

Posted in Blogcritics, Tunes | 5 Comments