Solonor's Inkwell

Let this be a lesson to you, dear bloggers. Never offend the gods of blog. I learned, too late, that if you even THINK about quitting, you will be kharmically slapped upside your punkin’ head.

Apparently, because I dared to say that I was too tired to blog, the gods of blog sayeth: “Fine, beyotch! Guess you won’t be needing this cable modem, then! Oh, hell, let’s just zap your router while we’re at it. Bahahahaha!”

So, here I am, writing my 1000th blog entry from an undisclosed location that ain’t my house. Go me.

I am sorry, but I’ll have to finish the Gnomedex story later, when it will have lost its relevance. If you still laugh, then I’ll know I’ve done a good job. I need to step away from the computer to recharge my batteries. I’d like to write something funny or insightful, but I just don’t have the energy.

To those that understand: Thanks. I love you.

To those that don’t: Bite my shiny metal ass.

Considering that this little family get-together of Chris Pirillo’s is not held in a major media center, like New York or Los Angeles, or one of the convention Meccas, like Las Vegas, I was very impressed with the lineup of speakers he was able to get. On Friday, we were treated to Nelson Minar of Google talking about everything the search engine goes through in a fifth of a second. He was followed by Eric Sink, CEO of SourceGear (a provider of source control and collaboration tools for programmers), relating his experiences with using Microsoft’s .NET technology to build applications. He, however, is not a legend.

After lunch, Slashdot’s Rob Malda (CmdrTaco) spent an hour answering questions about the history of Slashdot and on the phenomena of being “slashdotted.” He was followed by a 90-minute commercial for Microsoft, as their Kevin Unangst showed off some new toys in the multimedia division. (I’m not saying it wasn’t cool, just the same.)

On Saturday morning, Chris gave his impassioned plea for RSS called, “The Death of E-mail Marketing.” It struck me as odd that such a talk would even be necessary, or that there would be people in the audience who didn’t know what blogging was, much less RSS. But I wound up talking to several people about it. Perhaps I need to get a job translating geek-speak to CEO-speak. Ick. Sounds like work. Forget that.

The rest of Saturday was taken up by the headliners: Jim Louderback of Ziff-Davis, who built a wicked cool little multimedia PC that could replace your DVD player and your TiVo, as well as give you a way to play your MP3 collection all over the house; Tim O’Reilly of O’Reilly & Associates, who talked about open source and the changing face of application development; John C. Dvorak of PC Magazine, spending a little time predicting the future (and a lot of time trashing blogs and Mac users) and being hilarious; and Dan Gillmor, columnist for SiliconValley.com and the Mercury News, who gave an impassioned plea for stopping the RIAA and the MPAA before irreparable harm is done to our rights.

Now, add breakout sessions with Kyle Bennett, Micah Stroud on overclocking your PC, Corey Bridges from ZoneLabs, a 16-seat online gaming area, 4 XBoxes, and about 500 people with which to converse about all things tech, and you’ve got yerself a convention made in geek heaven.

I’m home. Daughter’s home. Didn’t get home until the wee hours. No time to elaborate. Overslept. Half expected boss to meet me at the door with “I’m so glad you decided to join us this morning, Mr. Norton.”

Expect full report of Gnomedex happenings to come later, including the geek version and the tabloid version. In no way expect the truth. But I have pictures… heh…

The reality of it struck me. It’s not just some far off wish or really-neat-thing-to-do-but-I’ll-never-really-do-it. I am actually getting on a plane and traveling to Iowa to meet and party with cool people attend a tech conference. I am actually going to see real people who have only existed virtually for me over the past year. As it stands right now, I will actually come face-to-face with Lisa, Brad, Cheyenne, Laura and Dania…not to mention, of course, Gretchen and Chris! Eeeeeep!

It’s not like I haven’t met bloggers before. For crying out loud, in my very first such experience I met such blogging superstars as Robyn, Todd, Jason, Statia, Yvonne, Stacy and Andrea! And that was followed by a wicked cool meeting with The Mighty Geek. But, with the exception of G, I didn’t really get a chance to spend much time with them…much less three days of high geekery!

Yes, in fact, I am a little nervous. I know it sounds silly, but I’m not really that outgoing in person (or at least I never used to be). I asked the Mrs, “What if I don’t meet expectations? I’m not as wise-assed and goofy in person as I am in the blog.” She replied, “Yes you are.” (Thanks…I think…)

Actually, my biggest fear is that it really is a tech conference and I’ll get caught up in conversations that will go way over my head. Yes, I’m an MCSE (stop laughing, it’s still worth something…I think…). Yes, I work for a software company. But sometimes I have to put sticky notes on the coffee maker to remember which button turns it on! Or maybe that’s just old age… Anyway, enough silliness! This is going to be a blast.

Safe travels to everyone going! See you in Des Moines!

Eiffel Tower Fire Extinguished

My first thought upon seeing the black smoke pouring from the top of the tower: “Oh, no, I hope this wasn’t the day she was supposed to be there!”

My second thought: “Oh, no, I hope she didn’t set it.”