Weclome all Unite States lardy demins!

If this were Friday, it might be my weekly Aortal pick. Instead, I can’t decide whether I am looking at a comedy genius or being a racist scum for laughing at someone who’s trying to communicate in a foreign language. Probably both, but screw it – Puce Blog is a laugh riot!

Some sample entries:

United state evil Tv as program, make ladie sex face of devil, all world. NO MORE AMERICA

Brinty Spear turn as eldery, face began to crack show fault of all USA. Placing item in too chest parts for squeeze evil!

Weclome all Unite States lardy demins! Take break of put all foods in to belly drive Suv, enjoy jolly broken speach. He he! Oh me, chockle for alls! Busy day for explode orfan, many task, killing sand dwells, must releif stress! Fucking no.

Oh me. Chockle for alls!

Posted in Strangeness | 3 Comments

They Don’t Know Her Vewwy Well, Do Dey?

Monday, 11:30am EDT. Michele on CNN.

CNN thinks it’s going to do a cute story about a bored housewife who thought she’d start up a war blog while the kids were at school. *snicker*

Who is gonna regret this? I can’t wait to see her ask for the head of Larry King on live TV.

I am so glad I have Monday off.

UPDATE: The revolution will not be televised. It was CNN Financial Network, and they started getting silly in the pre-show interviews, apparently. So, she told them to take a hike.

Posted in Yo! Listen Up! | 3 Comments

Evil Elf

I don’t have a lot to say today, it appears. So, I’ll just wish you all a happy week and point you in the direction of the cartoon elf my daughter drew for me – and the link for you to buy Groovy Gear to fund her trip to Europe.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 7 Comments

My Butt Is Still Asleep

Every once in awhile, the harmonic convergence of geekdom, nature and scheduling permit me to plunk my fat arse in a chair and stare at the warm, blue glow of the monitor until I have radiation burns and permanent retinal damage. (Contrary to popular myth, this is not a description of my business day.)

On Saturday, I conducted the initial draft and a live chat with those fortunate enough to simultaneously own teams in Solonor’s Groovy Computer Baseball League and not have a life. It was a ton of fun, actually. Cableman, MizDos, GeekGrrl, Milbertus, Kevin, Linkmeister, Scott and Zuly all showed up for the party. Even Whiny made a brief appearance. And Sgt. Grump showed up at the end – 960 players and nine hours later. Then, of course, Sunday was a bi-monthly MOHAA day. So, I spent five or six hours blasting Nazis (except when I was one).

Life is rough.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 6 Comments

Quit It, Slashdot!

I doubt that this has anything to do with the IAEA flood that hit last year (and continues to strike every time I mention “sensitive topics”… I got another bunch right after the Bull Durham story). It may be something more along the lines of a misbehaving ‘bot, like in the AsciiRock episode. But I’m getting tired of seeing a bazillion hits from the University of Minnesota College of Biological Sciences, supposedly referred via Slashdot. I thought it was just me, until GeekGrrl pointed it out on her site, which led to a flood of others seeing the same thing.

Whatever it is, it’s got my permission to stop anytime now.

Posted in Strangeness | 8 Comments

Packed Up the Buggy And Moved

Master Simon hath moved. If it pleases you, updateth thy blogrolls (for they are the devil’s own playthings). Amish Tech Support doth be at http://amish.blogmosis.com/ evermore. Thank ye.

Posted in Yo! Listen Up! | 2 Comments

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

A little late with Solonor’s Aortal Site of the Week. Sorry about that. At least you know I’ll find you someone who is not only worthy of your *heart* but goofy to boot. Just such a piece of work is the 80’s-obsessed Fry Cook On Venus.

Toss together William, Magic15Ball and SwearingGirl; mix in a little Matrix Reloaded, and you’ve got a winner. And for those of you who doubt the universal energy that flows through the blogiverse, we both mentioned Schneider within a week of each other. How’s that for kharma! (I’ll just steer clear of the B.J. and the Bear reference, thank you very much.)

Smores baby!

Posted in Aortal | 2 Comments

What A Load of Bull

“Isn’t one of the greatest things about going to the ballpark that you can sit next to someone you don’t agree about anything with and cheer for the same thing?”

My sentiments exactly, Mr. Robbins. But, apparently the bonehead in charge of the Baseball Hall of Fame, Dale Petroskey, doesn’t see it that way. Petroskey canceled a planned 15th anniversary celebration of Bull Durham, because in his opinion comments by Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon “could put our troops in more danger.”

This is completely into the deep end of the whacko pool (or in something deep at any rate). I understand that Robbins and Sarandon might have said things that Petroskey doesn’t agree with. And I understand that, technically, the Hall is a private institution (though it will receive $750,000 in taxpayer money in 2003). That just means that they have a right to exclude whomever they choose. It doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.

Shame on the HoF for politicizing the celebration of a great movie about the greatest of sports. So what that its stars are political off camera? Do we boycott old John Wayne and Ronald Reagan movies now?

Shame on Mr. Petroskey for dragging the name of baseball – a game that has represented the spirit of America for over a century – through the mud. Hasn’t the current administration of Major League Baseball done enough to tarnish baseball’s image on its own?

Shame on us all for letting our fears create a near total lack of respect for free speech these days. I don’t need to agree with Robbins, Sarandon, Michael Moore (or Charlton Heston, for that matter) to find this “if you don’t agree with me, you shouldn’t be allowed to speak” attitude disgustingly un-American. Now, it’s being extended to “if there’s a possibility that you might disagree with me, you should shut the hell up.”

Enough is enough. If you don’t like what someone has to say, then engage them in a civilized discussion. You might learn something. Or they might. Either way, you’ll both be exercising one of the basic liberties to which every human has a right – and for which our troops are fighting and dying across the globe.

Posted in Baseball, Blogcritics, Rants 'n' Whines | 9 Comments

I’ll Miss You Most of All

Hey, he was funnier than Carrot Top…

We Love the Iraqi Information Minister

UPDATE: Apparently, the site has crashed. Here is a news story from Reuters about it, so you don’t think I’m making it up!

Posted in Strangeness | 6 Comments

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face

The first blogiversary of The Gamer’s Nook is coming up on Monday. This surprised me a bit, since I assumed that Scott was around before me. I thought he was one of those established bloggahs that knew all the tricks. It was kinda the same with some of the other blogs I have come to annoy enjoy this past year. I noticed that quite a lot of them started around the same time I did, but my impression was that they were old hands by the time I crashed their comments. It got me to thinking (a dangerous passtime, I know). How did you meet your blog friends?

Continue reading

Posted in Carnival of the Vanities, Life, the Universe and Everything | 23 Comments