Workers of the Blogisphere Unite!

Todd says this and My husband said that. Is it just me, or is this starting to sound like we’re in the Soviet Union?

Comrades! The Premier would love to speak to you in-person, but he has a cold. He is not dead. I personally saw him today. He is very full of life and so not exiled to Siberia or anything.

What? Quit looking at me! The real commies are in Tampa. I am not jealous that he could turn the damned blog off, and I can’t even watch a frickin’ TV show without checking my e-mail during the commercials and getting sucked into spending five hours in front of the computer screen. Bite me.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 3 Comments

It’s All Your Fault I Screen My Phone Calls

(Sorry for the title ripoff, Robyn. Couldn’t resist.)

Tell me. Does this not sound like a valid question:

“If you have to work so damned hard to get around someone’s call blocking/spam filters/restraining order, what the HELL makes you think they’re gonna buy your damned timeshare/viagra/crap?”

And yet, yesterday, idiot telemarketers got together to sue the FTC over its proposed Do-Not-Call List. They say it is a freedom of speech issue. I know. Stop laughing. They’re serious.

“The FTC is singling out this form of advertising now, what will be next?” said DMA President Robert Weintzen in a prepared statement.

Unprecedented popular adoration for a government agency would be my guess, Bob.

[ via Sgt. Grump, who’s backlog of cool things for me to link is longer than a telemarketer’s call list ]

Posted in Rants 'n' Whines | 6 Comments

The Critiquees – Music

As if the Bloggies and the Photobloggies, the Golden Fingers and, oh yeah, those pesky Oscars happening weren’t enough, Blogcritics has announced the first annual Critiquees!

First up is the music category. Everyone gets to nominate up to five choices (ranked in order of preference) in each of the following categories:

-album of the year
-song of the year
-songwriter of the year
-rock album
-country/Americana album
-r&b album
-jazz album
-world/reggae album
-electronic album
-soundtrack album
-best re-issue or compilation [box sets, re-mastered, or bonuses]
-best new artist
-album that sucked most vigorously

Entries are due by Monday, February 13, with the winners announced on February 16 (a week before the Grammys). I encourage you to e-mail Eric your nominees, but I’d also like it if you sent me some suggestions on who to vote for. I don’t get out much. What happened in music in 2002?

Posted in Blogcritics | 1 Comment

TTIC…New Acronym for TIA?

It’s hard to argue with the need for a coordination of intelligence agency information after the disastrously poor communication between the CIA, FBI and police agencies prior to September 11. My first reaction to the Terrorist Threat Information Center announced during the State of the Union address was “about frickin’ time!” Here it is 16 months later, and you’re just now figuring out they need to talk to each other?

My second thought, however, was a little more cautious. It went in my ears as “the War on Terrorism”. It rattled around my brain as “a proposal to gather as much information as we can into one, big spying database, headed by the director of the CIA. And, no, we won’t tell you how it’s gonna work.”

In the end, I think it’s probably a good thing to get those lines of communication open between the the people keeping an eye the terrorists abroad and the terrorists at home. But let’s just make sure we keep our eyes on those people. Just in case.

[ via the Salt Lake Tribune; also seen at The Liberty Dogs ]

Posted in Rants 'n' Whines | 3 Comments

Icicledesus is more like it

OK, people, if she’s crazy enough to dive into an icy lake in February just for the Special Olympics, she’s liable to do anything. So, don’t make any sudden moves. Just slowly reach into your wallets and give all your cash to the Sunidesus’ Polar Plunge.

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 2 Comments

Nude Bloggies!

Kat has been hitting the cough syrup again. This time, though, she took her hallucination to full term. Presenting the first annual ***Nude Weblog Awards***.

Nude Weblog Awards

She needs judges and nominees. So, get your little buns over there and help her out.

Need I say Not Work Safe? Didn’t think so.

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 3 Comments

One More Time…

Introducing a new service here for all you people that can’t think of the right thing to say. I’ll change your words to say something intelligent! For FREE!

Original stupid comment by moron:

“Thank god that’s over. Talk about odd man out. It was embarrassing. Now you can get back to the blogging equivalent of shuffleboard with all the other senior citizen netizens.”

New, improved comment by moron (highlighting changes for extra clarity):

“Thank god you stopped saying stuff that’s over my head. Talk slower about stuff, because I am an odd man out in the bushes. It was embarrassing sitting out here naked and friendless while you were having fun. Now you can get back to the superior blogging that is the equivalent of hot sex to my shuffleboard-addled mind and thrill me with all the other great stuff a senior in high school who is a citizen of my pants and thinks netizens is a real word ought to know.”

You’re welcome. And bite me.

Posted in Yo! Listen Up! | 8 Comments

Blogwhore No More

Guess Grump doesn’t have to worry about being bored with all my talk of this dumb game anymore…

I missed the immunity in Round One of Blogwhore. So, left up to the rest of the merry band of blogwhores, Solonor is deleted.

Eight votes! I just want to know the three people who didn’t vote against me. Who were my stalwart friends? They’re going to the top of my linky list for a year!

The other eight can rot in the cold, dark bowels of my never-ever-link-their-asses-again list. But I’m not bitter…

Continue reading

Posted in Blogwhore2 | 22 Comments

Two Towers Snubbed

Oscar Snubs ‘Two Towers’ In Makeup Voting. They also left off Men in Black II and The Hours (thought to be a shoo-in by some).

In fact, only The Time Machine and Frida were thought to be “that one outstanding film.”

Head, I’d like you to meet Ass.

Posted in Blogcritics, Rants 'n' Whines | 3 Comments

Raise Your Slurpees High

John P. Thompson, Convenience Store Pioneer, Has Died at 77. Thompson took over as CEO of 7-11 when they only had 600 stores. During his watch they introduced the Slurpee, fresh-brewed coffee-to-go, and the Big Gulp. Hey, I work in the industry, whaddya want?

I bet no one gets points in the ATS Dead Pool, though.

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 2 Comments