MRS: Did you sleep well last night?
WHINY: No.
MRS: Does anything good ever happen to you?
WHINY: No, my life is a series of mediocre events.
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Join the club, kid
Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything
11 Comments
Ads that make NO sense
I wrote this big post about how profoundly disappointed I am in Google’s lack of response to the AdSense initiative (and how repulsed I am by some of the advertisers who are complaining about bloggers encouraging people to click on their ads). However, Google has a perfect right to donate (or not) to whomever they choose. Just because a bunch of bloggers have decided to donate their AdSense revenues to help tsunami victims, it does not mean that Google has to bow to their will and help them out. They are a money-making enterprise, after all. It’s not like they pledged to go out of their way to do good. Just “not be evil.”
I will keep the ads up for the rest of January, since I made a promise at BlogAid, but after that those suckers are outta here.
Posted in Rants 'n' Whines
2 Comments
Is it September yet?
Bah. I’ll bet they don’t sell more than four or five MILLION of these.
Posted in Wouldya Lookit That!
1 Comment
De-lurk for charity
According to those that follow such trends, today is De-Lurking Day in the blogosphereaverse. That means that anyone who normally reads a blog but doesn’t usually make any comments is supposed to come out of the shadows (“de-lurk”) and make one.
While I’m not going to ask for comments on this blog (though I always welcome them), I did want to point out that my pal Lisa is donating $1 to tsunami relief for ever comment she gets (up to $100). Not only that, but her employer is matching her dollar-for-dollar! So, go over there an flood her with commenty goodness, willya?
De-lurk and donate, all for a good cause – Glimpse of a Grrl
Posted in Yo! Listen Up!
5 Comments
Farewell, my worthy adversary
Yes, I know it sucks that he’s going away. Still, I come not to bury Buzz, but to praise him.
There are a lot of different types of blogs in the big pile of electronic fecal matter that litters the internet. The ones I like best are the ones that make me smile. Taking a few minutes hours out of your busy day and slapping up a funny picture or an amusing story just because you think some other people might get a kick out of it is one of the highest callings to which any blogger can aspire.
Buzzstuff always made me smile. He didn’t try to challenge my beliefs or shout me down (I mean other than the time he got his minions together to thwart my plans for world domination). He didn’t try to be the biggest blogger or the bestest blogger or the coolest blogger or the meanest blogger or the sexiest blogger or whatever. He was just Buzz. A nice guy. And gosh darn it, I’ll miss him.
I swore I wouldn’t cry…
Posted in Wouldya Lookit That!
4 Comments
Many miles away, something crawls from the slime of a dark Scottish lake…
Oh. My. God.
While I’m being reviewed by the guy that came up with the term “synchronicity,” on the day that I warp an Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem into an ode to spammers, comes this piece of comment spam (with links removed to protect the innocent):
Even whilst I delayed, the bank had lost many texas hold’em, and it could not be shack-up before the house would fall undermined into the disaffected pit of lashing poker strip. It was very spooky, but as the poker games about-faced on they heaved to gallop back through Time, for whenever they ruled through a village in the twilight they lumbered only such poker rooms and texas holdem poker strategy as Chaucer or men before him might have seen, and sometimes they saw knights on horseback with sickening companies of retainers.
I’m scared. Hold me.
Posted in Strangeness
5 Comments
In which I test the limits of the blog space-time continuum…
If you refer to someone who refers to you and then they refer to you referring to yourself, how many times can that nonsense take place before we make Albert Einstein go, “Whoa. Dude. You’re wrinkling the fabric of space”? (Trick question. Einstein never said “whoa” in his life. Well, there was that one time… but it had nothing to do with his mad addiction to Skittles and Mountain Dew. So, just back off!)
Where were we? Oh yes. Apparently, I have been deemed worthy of an analysis by Sigmund, Carl and Alfred. For those of you who don’t recognize the famous trio of psych majors: Sigmund is the sea monster, Carl is the jungest, and Alfred is the butler. They all live in a happy little village and make fun of other peoples’ blogs who don’t meet their exacting standards (unless, of course, you have photos of a certain New Year’s Eve party and its naked Twister incident and are willing to go public with them if you don’t get a good review). Go and see what these bastards eminent men said about me, and you’ll know whether I kept copies of the negatives measured up.
Posted in Wouldya Lookit That!
4 Comments
We are the blogs…
Somehow, in the middle of pledging my pitiful AdSense revenues to the Red Cross, I missed the fact that there was a site set up to gather such pledges together: BlogAid
[ via dooce ]
Posted in Yo! Listen Up!
2 Comments
That’s it! I’m in love (or lust anyway)
Since I just spent half the night de-spamming a friend’s blog, I have come to know the true soul of the spammer. Their loveliness knows no bounds. In fact, I cannot help but shout out to the heavens of their soft, kindly beauty. With apologies to Ms. Browning…
How do I love spammers? Let me count the ways.
I love them to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of my Cialis and ideal Viagra.
I love them to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need for hot girl-on-girl sex and Texas holdem.
I love them freely, as men strive for mortgage advice;
I love them purely, as they turn from their Xanax and Prozac.
I love them with a passion put to use in casino gambling
In my old penis enhancer, and with my diet pills.
I love them with a love I seemed to lose
With my spam filters, — I love them with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my digital cable filters! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love them better after death (or MT Blacklist).
*sigh* Spammers are dreamy.
Posted in Rants 'n' Whines
4 Comments
Lemon Flavored Toilet Paper
I am nothing if not a slave to my readers. You say, “Jump!” I say, “Bite me!” (and jump off the nearest cliff). Thus, the following entry is made at the request of my good (if slightly insane) friend, Karan. She wonders what kind of ads might show up in an entry about lemon flavored toilet paper.
Now, please, don’t ask me why she wants lemon flavored toilet paper advertisements. I don’t know if it is some sort of culinary peculiarity of the area in which she resides (them Washingtonians are an odd bunch), or if she’s just been drinking (again). Suffice it to say that if she asks me to write a post about lemon flavored toilet paper, I will bend over backwards to write a post about lemon flavored toilet paper.
Because, apparently, I’m a mensch (whatever the hell that means).
Posted in Strangeness
10 Comments