Christmas Again? Didn’t we just take the tree down?

Posted on December 5, 2003 by Solonor

I was checking out my Referrer List the other day to see if there was someone new knocking on the door when I noticed a hit from Chey’s place.

“Cool,” says I. “A visit from my favorite red-headed, hula hoopin’ baybeeee.”

But then I saw that it wasn’t her and that it was aimed at a specific archive post.

“Hmm…wonder what that was,” thinks I. So, clicked the link, did I. (And immediately quit the bad Yoda impression.)

It turned out to be a little bit of silliness from last December 24, called The Bloggers Night Before Christmas.

The point of this post is not to highlight my incredible prose or my Seussian gifts (copies are available for $19.95, and the DVD version with James Earl Jones doing a dramatic reading will be out by next year). It’s not to highlight all the bloggers I think I know, either. Hell if I can remember what the point was, actually…

Reading it made me a little sad or wistful or some such overly sentimental crap. For those no longer blogging. For those I never hear from anymore. For the petty squabbles we let ourselves get dragged into. For how fast time passes.

It also made me grateful for everyone who takes the time to read this drivel–old and new.

God, now I sound like Buzz… ;p

Continue reading →

Posted in Life, the Universe and Everything | 10 Comments

Maybe A Herd Of Dollar Signs?

Posted on December 5, 2003 by Solonor

‘Trampled’ Wal-Mart Shopper Has History Of Injury Claims

And people wonder why we’re all skeptics…

[ via rowdigirl ]

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 3 Comments

Ya gotta take one for the team!

Posted on December 5, 2003 by Solonor

By now you’ve probably heard of the pay-per-view alternative to this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, The Lingerie Bowl. In case you haven’t, 4 words: underwear, models, tackle, football. (Hey, it beats the stupid Bud Bowl… except for that whole sexist pig thing… ooh, sexist pigskin!)

Anyway, Jim Caple at ESPN.com has come up with the Top 10 Things Overheard in the Locker Room at the Lingerie Bowl:

10. “Remember, we’re wearing the alternate dark bras today with the throw-back panties.”
9. “Coach wants to see you in his office. And bring your catalogue.”
8. “Damn, I hate playing in Green Bay in December.”
7. “Coach, I CAN’T wear Victoria’s Secret! I have an exclusive endorsement deal with La Perla!”
6. “How many times do I have to tell you? Laces out! Laces out!”
5. “That other team is nothing but a bunch of pantywaists!”
4. “Hey, great bra! Is that the new Air Chastain or the Wonder Hamm?”
3. “Call me old-school, but that girl couldn’t carry Heidi Klum’s G-string!”
2. “New Orleans ought to have a great Lingerie team — half their players are men.”
1. “Those girls on the other team pull their fishnet stockings on one leg at a time, the same as us!”

Posted in Strangeness | 1 Comment

Felgercarb!

Posted on December 4, 2003 by Solonor

I admit it. I was a fan of the original Battlestar Galactica, at least for the first season. Sure, it wasn’t the greatest show ever made, but the “rag tag fugitive fleet” searching for the lost tribe on a shining planet known as Earth was good for a few episodes. (Of course, I liked Space:1999, too. But after trying to watch a couple of old episodes a while back, I realize that I must have been on severe drugs.)

As any good geek knows by now, there’s a new Battlestar Galactica mini-series set to show up on SciFi Monday night. There was a special premiere in L.A. on Tuesday. I’ll give it a chance, I suppose, but how do you do Starbuck without Dirk Benedict? Or Adama without Lorne Greene? Or Boxey without throwing up?

Whoa! That ain’t how I remember Cylons…

Hmm… hot babe… skin-tight suit… fembot… named “Number Six”… What an original concept!

Posted in Blogcritics, Rants 'n' Whines | 7 Comments

Nothing spells “hard rock” more than Ron Wood in a fuchsia outfit.

Posted on December 4, 2003 by Solonor

Twenty-Five albums that should NOT have been recorded

Read it for the hilarious commentary, and be sure to follow the Gygax link on Number 19.

Fortunately for my aural senses, I’ve not heard many of the tracks on these classic discs. Except for the Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band Soundtrack… Oh. My. God. Even to be reminded of its existence was enough to make me run screaming into the bathroom. (So long supper!)

Whoever thought it would be a good idea to have the Bee Gees and Peter Frampton sing Beatles songs should’ve been shot in the head, set on fire, cornholed with mallet, and decapitated.

Who said they weren’t?

Posted in Blogcritics, Wouldya Lookit That! | 7 Comments

November Referrer Madness

Posted on December 3, 2003 by Solonor

I’ve been doing this monthly list of The Top 20 Sites From Which Nice People Came To Look At The Monkey In The Window™ for almost a year. But who the heck are these people? Why do they link to me? Are we all of one hive mind? Do we all worship the same geek gods? Is there some secret handshake that’s only known to the Bloguminati involved here?

Actually, International Law has banned those listed here from ever getting together in one place. That much dork matter in one spot could kill us all.

To find out who’s who, I thought I’d get you to play a little game (and rip off pixeldiva). Rather than just spewing out links, I’ll give you three facts from each site’s “About Me” section… only one of them will be a lie. It’s up to you to spot the falsehood.

Ready?

Continue reading →

Posted in Referrer Madness | 14 Comments

Carnival of the Vanities #63

Posted on December 3, 2003 by Solonor

Time for another CoTV! Check it out at Begging to Differ.

Posted in Yo! Listen Up! | 2 Comments

Elf Booty Got Soul

Posted on December 2, 2003 by Solonor

It all started when one of our Tolkien Baseball team owners e-mailed me a link to this video of Gollum rapping.

I wanted to see if I could find the lyrics, so I typed “Gollum rap lyrics” into the trusty Google toolbar. What I found was The Lords of the Rhymes.

Watch the video or just listen to the song, but take a look at the lyrics first.

And I thought I was a geek…

Posted in Strangeness | 1 Comment

The Island of Misfit Something Or Others

Posted on December 2, 2003 by Solonor

HHHS – Santa’s Back!

I warned you it was coming. But nobody listen to poor Zathras…

WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR BUSY BABY!

You can get there all Xmas season by clicking on the picture of the elf at the top of the blog.
Posted in Yo! Listen Up! | 3 Comments

Dave Barry is sooo 2002…

Posted on December 2, 2003 by Solonor

Thanks to a little arm-twisting from a Stupid Evil Bastard, the power-that-be at Wizbang! (hi, Kevin!) have added your humble half-elf and his pickled paramour to the list of nominees as “Best Humor Blog” in their 2003 Weblog Awards.

As per usual, if I win, it will be the greatest honor ever bestowed upon mortal man. If I lose, the awards will be a meaningless attempt at link-whoring by a wannabe blog hack (hi, Kevin!).

Ooh! Speaking of which, I almost forgot to do my Referrer Madness for November. I’ll have to work on that tonight. Thanks, Kevin (and, especially, Les).

Posted in Wouldya Lookit That! | 3 Comments