Look in the extended entry (if you dare). It’s from my MT access log between 6:11 am and 2:03 pm, yesterday. MT-Blacklist, I want to have your babies.
Maybe I’m stupid, but can someone explain the economic incentive for some idiot to try to place a thousand links to something nobody wants on a blog nobody reads?
This story about a captured soldier turning out to be an action figure is yesterday’s news (at least if you’re a blogger). But I don’t have anything else to say today, and I found this list from Ace of Spades to be hilarious (yes, I know I’m gonna have to renounce my membership in the vast liberal conspiracy for thinking something a right-winger said is funny).
Top Ten Other Terrorist Threats
10. “If the UN does not immediately withdraw support for the US occupation of Iraq, the Jihad Brotherhood will cut off one of Papa Smurf’s three fingers”
9. “We have captured Rainbow Brite, and we will hang her as an infidel at dawn”
8. “Al-Zarqawi is pleased to announce new reinforcements in his jihad– COBRA Commander and Megatron of the Decepticons (also, we may get that completely useless robot who can turn into a fuckin’ tape-recorder)”
7. “If the American infidels do not depart Iraq immediately, the streets will run black with the ink of a thousand Etch-a-Sketches”
6. “I swear to Allah, if you do not release our brave warriors held in captivity, by next week Garfield the cat will have a whole new reason to hate Mondays”
5. “You have no chance of defeating us in Iraq, in Afghanistan, or in high-stakes games of Hungry Hungry Hippos”
4. “We have Jarts and we’re not afraid to use them”
3. “If our demands are not met immediately, we will begin pestering your female soldiers with our great stockpiles of Mr. Microphones; they will not be able to sleep, for our constant utterances of Hey good-looking, be back to pick you up later!”
2. “Deliver Donald Rumsfeld to us as a war criminal for trial or we will take our collection of Muppets and pose them in the most insidiously-sexual of manners; verily, your children will weep bitter tears when they witness Elmo being sodomized by the deviant Gonzo and his pansexual chickens”
… and the Number One Other New Terrorist Announcement…
1. “A thousand explosive Chia Pets will thunder in the streets of Bagh… oh, fuck it, we’re a bunch of buffoonish wankers everybody knows it”
[ via Michele ]
Driving home from work last night, I heard the Kinks “Picture Book” from one of my favorite quirky albums: The Village Green Preservation Society. I’ve been hearing part of the song in those HP digital photography ads, lately, so it was nice to hear someone play the whole thing.
As irked as I get when some mega-corporation latches onto a great song to sell its snake oil and poultices or its slave-labor-produced sneakers, it’s nice when one gets it right and finds a tune that not only compliments the ad but also deserves a little recognition in its own right (I’m thinking of Nick Drake’s “Pink Moon” in the VW ads, for example.)
Are there any other cool tunes that have been used in commercials without making you cringe?
Ahhhh… blissfully AdSense-free. I feel much better now.
The ads made a little over $50 for the Red Cross (not enough for Google to actually pay it out, but I’ll cover it, since the poor dears are obviously too low on cash to bother helping).
After having run off enough CD’s to sink a ship, I keep finding people who want the damned thing. Either someone’s going around paying people to be nice to me, or the terrorists have already won. Either way, if you want a copy of A Potpourri of Noise, just send me your address, and I’ll put one on the next carrier pigeon.
For those of you joining our show already in progress, there is a website attached to this one where a bunch of dorks play computer baseball. Oh, but not content to just play computer baseball, these dorks decided to name all of their teams and players in the fashion of Tolkien’s Middle Earth (or, as it turns out, any fantasy realm really).
And what good would a league full of fantasy baseball players be if it didn’t have a bunch of subplots running in the background? Things like a a murder mystery with a hard-boiled detective on the case and alien bodies dredged from the Dead Marshes and fan riots?
Of course, they have to have a place to sit around and hurl insults at one another on a regular basis, too.
(What’s scary about this is that it is a global enterprise. There are dorks from Australia to Canada to the UK to the Netherlands involved in this thing, not to mention Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Maine, Michigan, Nebraska, New York and Washington.)
We, um, I mean they are currently at the end of the 2007 season. To further showcase their dorkitude, they named the playoff rounds the Fellowship Series (divisional series), Two Towers Series (conference finals), and Return of the King Series (league championship). The Mirkwood Marauders are playing the Grey Havens Stars.
If you’re a dork like us, I mean them, there are a couple of spots open for the upcoming season. Check out Solonor’s Groovy Computer Baseball League* and drop me an e-mail.
*The name is pure coincidence. I have nothing to do with dorkitude.
MJ knows I’m a sucker for a robot video. This one from Pete Miser is purty cool. (Or “dope” as the kiddies say.*)
*Before you even start correcting my street slang, BITE ME!
It’s Friday, and you know what that means… well? Don’t you?
Fine! You don’t wanna tell me what it means, then we’ll just sit around telling bad jokes all day. That’ll learn ya!
Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you but don’t start anything.”
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
I went to the butcher’s the other day and bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor replied, “I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!”
I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
[ via JustAGirl ]
This is the 60th anniversary of the liberation of the Nazi death camp at Auschwitz. I don’t have much to offer today. Go read this: Reflections, Travel and Hell (sigmundcarlandalfred.blog-city.com).
There will be much written and said today throughout the blogosphere and in the media about the Wansee Conference, that gathering of evil people who decided, in a very clinical way, that a people were to be exterminated for no other reason than the fact they existed. There are many people today who will write about the Wansee Conference and offer up wise words and ideas of what that all meant. I will not be one one of them. Instead, I will talk about what I have seen, on my own, in my travels.
The announcement of the Oscar nominees reminds me of the big, useless project that I started a long time ago called Solonor’s Oscar Do-Overs. This is the one where I set up a poll for every year from 1927 onward to let you vote on who the real Best Picture should have been. (I’ve only made it up to 1956, so far.)
The criteria for inclusion on the list are:
Go ahead and vote on the existing years, but I was wondering who you would vote for in this year’s crop. Here are the ones that would be on the 2004 list:
Real Nominees (IMDb rating)
The Aviator (7.8)
Finding Neverland (8.2)
Million Dollar Baby (8.3)
Ray (8.0)
Sideways (8.2)
IMDb Top 250 (Ranking)
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (#32)
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (#95)
The Incredibles (#113)
Before Sunset (#120)
Garden State (#171)
[ “Sideways” is #214, “Finding Neverland” #217 ]
Diarios de motocicleta (The Motorcycle Diaries) (#237)
Box Office Top 10 (IMDb Rating)
Spider-Man 2 (7.9)
[ “Shrek 2” and “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban” just missed with 7.7 ratings ]
Top 10 IMDb Vote Getters (IMDb Rating)
Fahrenheit 9/11 (7.9)
