Monday, April 15th , 2052
It was a week to remember for Dejaalia Ragalla. After wrapping up a torrid week at the plate, the Bucklebury Fairies right fielder was named the Shire Conference Player of the Week.
Ragalla collected 10 hits in 24 at-bats for a .417 average. He also accounted for 12 RBIs, 4 home runs and scored 8 runs.
Saturday, April 13th , 2052
Dagorlad reliever Nickolas Dano Dasmarinas could miss the remainder of the season because of a torn flexor tendon in his elbow. He exited yesterday’s Dead Marshes game after injuring himself while throwing a pitch. The original diagnosis said Dano Dasmarinas would be out 12-13 months. Later on his doctors said he could be out even longer. “He’s done,” his manager commented at the BNN press conference. “It’s a season-ending injury, but it could have been worse. It’s not the worst-case scenario, so we’re happy about that.”
This season, Dano Dasmarinas has no saves in 5 relief appearances with a 0-1 record and 3.00 ERA.
Monday, April 8th , 2052
Here are the current team power rankings for Tolkien Baseball:
Teams (Total Points, Tendency):
1) Bywater Bounders (155.9, +)
2) Lake Town Archers (152.9, ++)
3) Lothlorien Lumberjacks (152.9, ++)
4) Rivendell Royals (125.1, ++)
5) Carrock Bears (123.1, -)
6) Erebor Eagles (123.1, ++)
7) Dead Marshes Uruk-hai (121.1, -)
8) Grey Havens Stars (121.1, +)
9) Isengard Raiders (121.1, +)
10) Dunharrow Devils (93.0, -)
11) Misty Mountain Hops (91.0, ++)
12) Minas Ithil Wyrms (89.0, +)
13) Minas Morgul Slayers (89.0, +)
14) Minas Tirith Titans (89.0, +)
15) Dol Guldur Dragons (58.9, –)
16) Numenor Kings (58.9, ++)
17) Old Forest Merry Fellows (58.9, ++)
18) Ravenhill Darkwings (58.9, ++)
19) Weathertop Witch Kings (58.9, ++)
20) Bree Cheese (56.9, –)
21) Dagorlad Disaster (54.9, –)
22) Bucklebury Fairies (53.9, –)
23) Moria Miners (27.1, –)
24) Mirkwood Sylvan (24.1, –)
Monday, April 8th , 2052
This week’s recipient of the Mordor Conference Player of the Week Award is catcher Merry Gamwich of Lothlorien.
Gamwich showed great patience at the plate, collecting 13 hits in 26 at-bats as he compiled a .500 average, 4 home runs, 7 RBIs and 5 runs scored.
Monday, April 8th , 2052
What’s in a number? In baseball, just about everything.
The numbers that Bywater’s Esmeralda Bramble put up last week were the envy of the league, as Bramble came away with Shire Conference Player of the Week honors.
She belted out 13 hits in 22 at-bats, 1 home run and 7 RBIs last week as she posted his .591 batting average.
Sunday, April 7th , 2052
Weathertop Witch Kings third baseman Fay Gamgee wielded a big stick against the Isengard Raiders and her club walked off the field winners by the score of 15-11. Gamgee helped tame Isengard with 6 hits in 6 at-bats. Fay Gamgee hit a two-run double in the 1st, hit an RBI single in the 3rd, hit a two-run single in the 4th, hit a GRAND SLAM off Gundobad Alder-friend in the 6th, doubled in the 8th and singled in the 9th.
This year, Gamgee is hitting .444 with 2 home runs.
Tuesday, April 2nd , 2052
It was a banner day for Irene Knotwise, who collected her 2500th hit in the Grey Havens 5-4 win over Numenor. Knotwise went 2-for-5 in the game as both Stars and Kings fans cheered Knotwise when she reached base after her hit.
“It feels great to get #2500,” Knotwise said afterward, “especially since we won the game.”
In her career, Knotwise has played in 2195 games, batted .295 with 134 home runs and 2501 base hits.
Tuesday, April 2nd , 2052
Proving the old adage that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, the Kings announced today the acquisition of 25-year old LHP Robur Hardbottle and 22-year old minor league RHP Romuald Hatchett from the Dol Guldur Dragons in exchange for 26-year old 1B Friagol Crystalembers. “This isn’t the deal of the century,” acknowledged the Kings, “but we think it will improve the direction of both teams.”
In 385 career games Crystalembers has hit .273 with 224 hits, 37 home runs, 133 RBIs and scored 117 runs.
Hardbottle has a 11-13 won-lost record over his career with a 3.41 ERA. In 133 games he has recorded 41 saves and the 25-year-old has 156 strikeouts in 169 innings of work.
Listen up, whelps. The Middle Earth Sports Network (MESN) actually let an old boot like me off the graveyard shift to tell you how the Mordor Conference is shaking out for 2052. They’ve been using their fancy “nine-tool methodology”—chickens, tea leaves, and monkeys flinging things—to tell us what we already know: baseball in Mordor is a grind, and if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the Mountain.
I’ve looked at the reports, I’ve seen the Goblin Coin Flips (it landed on Heads/Wealth for us this year), and I’m here to tell you who’s actually got the iron to win.
The desks at MESN and OOTP actually agree for once: the Isengard Raiders are the top dogs. They’ve got the biggest wallet, and the Sacred Chickens are obsessed with Till Underhill’s grey hair.
This is where the “experts” start fighting. OOTP thinks the Dagorlad Disaster will run away with it, but MESN has them dead last.
OOTP wants to crown the Weathertop Witch Kings, but MESN is sticking with the defending champs, the Minas Morgul Slayers.
Hullo, sports fans! It’s your newest recruit here at the Middle Earth Sports Network (MESN), and I’ve been given the monumental task of breaking down the 2052 Shire Conference outlook. After weeks of shadowing the phrenologists and dodging the Predictor Monkey (he’s a biter!), I’ve got the inside scoop on who’s looking “ascendant” and who’s just clumps in the tea leaves.
Our nine-tool methodology is in, the Sacred Chickens have been fed, and the Goblin Coin has been flipped (it’s a Tails/Efficiency year, folks!). Here is how the Shire is shaping up:
The consensus is in: the Old Forest Merry Fellows are the team to beat. With Pandora Baecker returning and the addition of Tusdar Aelorothi to the rotation, they secured eight out of nine first-place votes from our tools. The only holdout? The Phrenologist’s Bumps Chart, which is currently obsessed with the tactical ridges of the competition.
If the Elf Division is about head-bumps, the Hobbit Division is about breakfast. The Bywater Bounders are MESN’s top pick, almost entirely because the Sacred Chickens laid a record four eggs on Apple Pip *Puttifoot’s locker photo.
In the Dwarf Division, we actually have some rare agreement! Both MESN and OOTP have the Rivendell Royals taking the crown.
